How's This for a Welcome Back?

When you fall off your blog for so long...what becomes the topic that finally forces you to write a post again? Was it your son's 6th birthday? Nope. That came and went. Was it the greatest sickness that I have ever personally endured? Nope. I lived and it was far too boring to write about. Was it The Boy losing his first tooth? Nope. But the fairy took care of that so all was well. Was it all the amazing changes that are going on with my business? Nope. Far too busy working to write...

My daughter woke up this morning and told me that she didn't want me to put a diaper on her. She wanted to go sit on the potty. Ummm...okay, sure. So I went and put her little potty in the living room in front of her favorite show and she sat down and chilled for a little bit. She has done this countless times and never produced anything so I wasn't really thinking about it when she told me, "I did it! I pee-peed in the potty!" I went over expecting to find a few drops but she had fully peed. Now that has certainly never happened before!! We did all the hugging and the dancing and celebrating and may have even called a grandparent...and then she got the treat of her choice (a fruit roll up--at 10:00 in the morning. It sorta disgusted me, but whatever, this was her deal...) and sat down all proud of herself and ate it.

She had one accident after that when she put on pants and socks and shoes and went outside with brother. But after that she has spent the day inside in a long sleeved shirt and undies. And she went over the peed again. All on her own! Just came over, all casual like, and was like, "yeah Mommy...I went pee pee again. Let's flush it so I can have my treat!" And so we did.

So I thought it was a bit strange when not 20 minutes later she came into my bedroom and told us that she had done "dat yucky thing" in the potty. I was like, "what did you put in the potty?" Anyway, after some investigation it was discovered that she pooped in the potty! Holy crap! Just went out there and sat down and pooped. Like she's been doing it all her life. Crazy.

I should clarify that I in no way am under the impression that it is this easy and that my daughter is now potty trained. But this is a huge step for her. Huge. She turns three in a month... My big girl.

Now With Added Bonus

I posted here a while ago that Peanut was moving into a toddler bed. She was crawling out of her crib and hurting herself and it was just time. The transition was actually easier than I thought it was going to be. It helps that she can't open her door handle yet, so she can't get out of her room unless I open the door for her. But she LOVED her new "big girl bed." She was ALL about it. Check out the face...

The thing of note in this picture is that the crib is still sitting next to the toddler bed. I left that in there for at least a week, and it was actually quite helpful. Every time she wouldn't lay down to go to bed, I would point at the crib and say, "Do you want to go back to your baby crib? No? Well then lay down. If you don't lay down and go to sleep you have to go back to the crib..." And miraculously, this worked pretty well. After almost two weeks, it was time to get the crib out of the room. But before doing that, one has to snap a final picture of the crib sitting in the "nursery."
That crib has been up and in that spot for almost 6 years. It was kind of am emotional thing for me to take it down and put it away. I don't have any desires for more children, so not in that kind of a way, but in the way that the children I DO have are growing up. One is in school already...the other now has her own bed in her "big girl room." It seems like in just a few years they are going to be surly teenagers that only snarl at me as they walk down the hall. No longer my babies.

But once I got the crib down and moved her bed into its spot, I was thrilled with how big her room looked (it's a pretty tiny room). I had bought a little bin to put all of her toys and stuffed animal into and after all of that, there was so much room to play!
And this is what I am referring to in the title when I say "added bonus." I didn't realize that my daughter never played in her room. Neither did her brother for that matter. They always played in either his room, or in the living room with me. Now that her room is set up like this she plays in it ALL the time. She goes in and gets a book and sits on her bed to read it. Or she takes her baby dolls and/or stuffed animals and puts them in her bed, covers them and sings to them. She climbs up on her window seat and sits there with things she has collected around the house. She loves it. And sometimes The Boy joins her too. I have heard him saying to her recently, "Come on...let's go play in your room..." as they run down the hall. The other night, I was doing dishes and I realized it was silent. Since every mom knows that is never a good thing, I turned off the water and went to investigate. The Boy was in his room sitting on the floor playing with his dinosaurs, and The Girl was in her room playing with her dolls. It was the most surreal moment. Both of my children, playing happily in their own rooms. All in a different space. It was pretty glorious. And of course it lasted approximately 30 seconds because The Girl came barreling down the hall not two minutes later to tell me something. But still. It was there.

And the best thing of all? The Boy saying to her after brushing teeth, "Come on...let's go to your room and I will read you a story. We can sit on your bed together."

And then you get moments like these. And you aren't sad that your baby isn't in her crib anymore. You remember why every single stage is so damn awesome.

Lots of "Firsts" In My World Right Now

Today is New Girl's birthday. We are going to have lunch together just the two of us, and then she has asked me to join her for a birthday dinner with all of her friends tonight. I am *officially* being introduced to all of her friends. But that isn't the "first" I was referring to above. This is the first time that I have ever hired a babysitter to come watch my kids that isn't family. Please don't be confused with this being the first time I have left my children because that couldn't be further from the truth. But this is the first time that I have had enough of a life that I felt it necessary to get an actual "babysitter." One that I pay money and that doesn't come to my Christmas celebrations. She comes very highly recommended by my best friend and is a college student. I'm sold. She came over last weekend and met the kids and played with them for a little and she was hired.

So tonight is the first time I am leaving my kids with a babysitter. And I am not at all emotional about it. I am super stoked that I can get out without having to feel guilty about whichever family member I am making give up a Friday night. And tonight should be fun, so I'm excited.

And then tomorrow night I am leaving my children and going away for a night for the first time. I am taking New Girl away to a hotel right on the beach for 24 glorious hours. I am embarrassed to admit that I have not ever once, in the almost 6 years of having kids, had a night where I wasn't with at least one of them. There are only a few times that I have not had both of them since The Girl was born. The first was when I went to the hospital to have her, and The Boy had to sleep at my parents house. That was somewhat traumatic because while I was convinced we had prepared him for every part of my going into the hospital to have a baby, I apparently forgot to mention to him that I would be spending the night in said hospital. He was good with all of it, until he realized he was expected to leave WITHOUT Mommy. That didn't go over well.

The second time was this last June when I took The Boy to the Monterey Bay Aquarium to spend the night for Father's Day. That was the first night I had ever been away from Peanut and she also stayed with my mom. That particular night went fine, but the aftermath with Peanut left a little bit to be desired. There have also been a few night where The Boy has stayed overnight at my moms, or at The Ex's house. But for the past almost 6 years, there has not been ONE morning that I have not had to wake up and tend to a child. There has not been one morning where my only concern was weather or not *I* felt like getting out of bed. The kids are staying with The Ex at my house and I cannot freaking wait. And who knows? I might not feel like getting out of bed the entire time! :)

How Did This Happen?!?!

Last weekend I got a packet in the mail from my son's new kindergarten. I got all giddy with excitement as I saw the return address and the large size of the package. I had a brief moment of, I did it! I actually got him into a school I am excited about! This is going to be so great...

...and then I opened the package. And proceeded to pretty much have a complete panic attack. There are so many forms and contracts and emergency cards and handbooks and rules and lists and... I could seriously go on and on. Now I should mention that none of this stuff is "bad." It's all good. I still have complete warm fuzzies about the school. But it just all feels so...grown up? My kid is old enough to be in school. Like real, honest-to-god school. With carpool lines and volunteering hours and fundraising and just so much STUFF. He can't possibly be old enough for that, can he? Isn't he my little baby with the cute red hair? Wasn't he just born, like last week?

As I was putting this post together I went on a little photo journey. And then I thought you guys might like to go along with me. So here we go...

My baby. Fresh out of the womb. January 5, 2006:

Shortly after getting home from the hospital. Still totally in that "yoda-baby" phase...
(and then we jump forward because the pictures from his first year are all on my old computer and I didn't want to take the time to transfer them all right now...)

Here he is almost 2 years old...helping to decorate for Christmas:
And then a few months later...his first trip to Disneyland (he was just over 2 years old):
Then a year later...I believe he was three in this picture... Certainly getting to be a bigger boy, but still tiny enough to fit his whole little self in my bathroom sink...
And then the following year...becoming a bigger boy, but not too big to give in to the car-ride-naptime...
...and then last year...in his "all things Buzz Lightyear" phase...
...and then finally this past weekend at the zoo...

Somewhere along the line my baby went and grew up on me. He's getting ready to start kindergarten. He is a big boy, that is going to go to school Monday through Friday and he's going to have field trips and "Kids Night Out's" and new friends and new experiences...and he will be in the same school with the same kids from now until he gets ready to go to middle school.

And really...it is all just a lot to swallow. I am not sure if I'm ready for this. But I guess that isn't the important thing. The important thing is that he IS.

Resemblance

This is me between 18 and 24 months:

...and this is my son at 18 months old...
...and this is my daughter at 18 months old...
Can you see the resemblance?

The First Haircut

Here's The Girl this morning during breakfast. This is true "morning hair." It hasn't been brushed or anything. But this is how she spends her time before I "do her hair" each day. She has taken to saying, "Where's [Girl]?" and then she takes both of her hands and pushes her hair up out of her face so she can see and says, "Der she is!!"

It was time for the first haircut. Here's the before.

And here's the "after."
I love it! She looks so grown up. The pics from the "during" are on my phone so I'll show them to you later. Or not... But I love it. My big girl!

Wordless Wednesday

More shots from The Girl's 18 month photo shoot... And you may wonder why I chose to have her photographed in her sunglasses pushing her stroller. The reason would be that this look really wraps up her essence at 18 months. She wears these glasses on a daily basis and for some reason she connects pushing her babies in a stroller with wearing the glasses. I wanted to capture this image to always remember this time. This is what she loved to do. This is who she was...at 18 months old...

PS--Clearly I am challenged by the "wordless" portion of "Wordless Wednesday..."

The Return of the Bean Bag Shot...

For those of you who have been reading my blog for a long time, you might remember the "Bean Bag Shot." For those who don't, I took a picture of my daughter in the exact same spot every month of her first year so that I could watch her grow. And now she is 18 months old, so I thought it was time for an updated bean bag shot. So here is The Girl, 18 months old.

And if you want to see how she has changed over the years, click on the short video below and watch her grow!

I Know It's Just A Fluke But...

The Girl has always been very vocal about when she is going "poop poop." Well at least since she started talking. She used to inform me when she had a dirty diaper but lately she's been telling me before she goes and then squatting down and going. I encourage her every time she tells me but don't make much more of it than that.

Today she was in the bath and kept saying, "Uh oh, poop poop..." and then "tooting." I was doing dinner in the kitchen but could hear what was going on and said to my mom (who was sitting in there next to her in the bath tub), "If she's told you she's going to go and has tooted several times, I would get her out. Otherwise we are going to have a mess on our hands..." So my mom told her the bath was all done and time to get out. She got out but started screaming when my mom put the towel around her. She yelled, "Potty! Potty!" and pointed to the baby potty. (I have her brother's old training potty in the bathroom and she sits on it before the bath everyday and we talk about it but I am not in any way trying to potty train her at this point). So my mom unwrapped her from the towel and she sat down on the potty and said "poop poop" again and started pushing. She didn't poop, but when she started pushing she peed. She looked down all surprised and said, "Pee Pee! I go pee pee!" We all ran in and made a big deal of it and told her what a big girl she was etc... then we went about dinner.

She was running around naked (didn't want to get dressed; was still a bit obsessed about sitting on the potty) and then said, "uh oh, potty..." and went into the bathroom by herself, sat down and peed again. The problem was she attempted to carry the potty out of the bathroom to show us what she'd done, but she actually peed on the potty twice today. She's not even 18 months old yet. My baby is growing up so fast. One of these days she is actually going to be ready for potty training...and I'm just not sure I am there yet... :)

The End of Nursing

Tonight was the very first time that I have been home and didn't nurse my daughter before bed. There have been other nights when I have been out that she's gone to bed for the night without nursing but this is the first time I consciously made the decision to not nurse her.

It's time. It really is. She's SO big. She turned 17 months on Monday and I had sort of had the 18 month old cut off in my head for a while now. And since we were down to just one time a day I figured I would give it a shot. She has (thankfully) started drinking cows milk in the morning when she gets up so I warmed her up some milk and sat with her and rocked her and read her books while she sipped her milk. And then I put her to bed. And you know what? She was FINE. Of course she was. I'm practically in tears and she's like, "What? I'm tired...I don't know what all the fuss is about..." And she smiled at me, demanded her blanket, and rolled over and went to bed. Just like that.

Doesn't she know this is the END of her babyhood? Doesn't she understand that she is my last baby and if last night was the last time she nursed that I will never again provide my baby with my own milk? Doesn't she CARE?!?!? Obviously I am being a bit melodramatic here, but it IS a little sad. I am extremely proud of the fact that I breast fed her for as long as I did, especially when working full time. And I could not be happier with the closeness that I felt as a result. And while I will admit that it bums me out a little that she didn't "lay" with me tonight and let me run my fingers through her hair while she nursed, it was still nice to sit with her in a quiet room and rock in the rocking chair while kissing her little cheeks. We will find new night time routines; they will keep evolving as she gets older and older. That's what has happened with The Boy. But the fact still remains that she is not my baby anymore. She's a growing little girl and while that is absolutely wonderful, I am a little sad to not have a baby anymore.

Goodnight sweet girl. Sleep tight. Mommy loves you.

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Let's go in order, shall we?

The Good: The Boy had an appointment today with his gastro doc; a weigh in appointment. He ROCKED it. He weighed 34 pounds, which is 2 1/2 pounds up from 3 months ago. I don't think I need to tell you all how huge that actually is. He is actually on the charts. He had also grown an inch. And as far as I'm concerned it is a combination of his appetite stimulating medication and his Pediasure that he drinks every morning. Because frankly, he still eats like shit. Or rather, he doesn't eat shit. But whatever. As they say, the scale doesn't lie. We actually get to go six whole months before our next weigh in. I don't think that has ever happened since we started seeing this doctor when he was a year old. We are going to continue what we're doing through the winter months and if all goes well we can even talk about stopping the medication come next spring. Totally rocks. I'm completely stoked. Definitely "the good."

The Bad: So this morning when getting ready to leave for our appointment I was feeling a tad bit smug because I had been so damned productive. I had already bathed both kids, fed both kids, dressed both kids and all I had left to do was to get myself ready and I had an entire 45 minutes with which to do it. ALL proud of myself. Until. Until I was leaving the kitchen and I stubbed my freaking toe on the damn baby gates. I can't even tell you all how many times I have done that. As I sat in the hallway thinking, "this hurts...like A LOT!!!" I grabbed onto my toe to try and make the pain stop. I pulled my hand away from my foot to get up because, seriously, buck up! and move on! When I pulled my hand away it was covered in blood. Crap.

I hobbled to the sink and ran my foot under the water to try and assess the situation. There was a huge slice out of the top of my pinky toe. And it was bleeding. A lot. Crap again. I grabbed a paper towel after I had thoroughly rinsed it and wrapped it up and tried to walk away on my heel, therefore avoiding the painful toe. Except that my foot was wet from the sink. So when I went to walk away on my heel I slipped and landed on my ass...HARD...on the kitchen floor. Triple crap. I sat for a few minutes before glancing at the clock and realizing that my "leisure" time this morning was beyond over and I was barely going to make it to the doctor. I grabbed a random bandaid, put some neosporin on it and a flip flop on my foot and got dressed and got the kids and ran out the door.

Fast forward to the end of the doctors appointment. I was on a high from the news about my son and I figured we were on a roll. I said, "Can you just take a look at my toe and make sure I don't need stitches or anything...?" She looked at it and, after making a horrible grimacing face, said she didn't think I needed stitches but that she bet that hurt like a "son of a gun." I was all smug thinking we'd get nothing but good news that day until she added as an afterthought, "But you definitely need a tetanus shot." Huh? A shot? What the hell? She had earlier been telling me that I needed to get the whooping cough vaccine and that is combined with the tetanus shot so I thought she was just being funny. I laughed at her "joke" until she looked me in the face and said, "You sliced the top portion of your toe off on a baby gate...you NEED the shot." And then to make sure it actually happened, she looked at my mom and said, "She needs this. Today. Make it happen."

So..."The Ugly:" Well my toe. It's freaking ugly. It took all of my restraint to not take a picture of it and post it here on the blog. But then I thought, seriously, who actually wants to see that? But trust me. It's blue and purple and sliced open and just plain nasty. And it hurts. Still. A lot. And you know what else hurts? My freaking arm. My arm is sore from the shot and my toe hurts. Wah, wah, wah. Poor me.

I got a little perspective last night however. A city about 30 minutes from where I live had a major disaster. A natural gas pipe blew up and created an explosion that literally flattened 54 houses and damaged a total of 120. There are already 6 people dead and I am sure there will be more found now that they can get to the rubble. It happened at 6:15pm. Hundreds of people were sitting down to dinner at their table with their families when...BOOM!! And just gone. It was on the news all last night and I watched it with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach while imagining what I am usually doing at 6:15. I am usually at my most frustrated point with my kids. I am putting dinner on the table while the kids whine because they are hungry. I am tired and cranky and exhausted after a long day. To have it all be over right then...? I just can't even imagine.

So poor me with my sad little toe and my sore arm. But you know what? I'm here. My kids are here and they are safe. We are all safe. And I feel completely blessed for that.

Her Turn!

Recently I did an update on The Boy so now it's time to talk about his sister. I really can't say enough things about her right now. 16 months is equal parts hysterical and cute and challenging. Let's talk about the cute first. She really is SO effing cute, I can't quite handle it sometimes. I have said it since the day she was born but she really is a ray of sunshine. Happiest little kid I know. If she isn't throwing a fit about something specific she is smiling.

Last time I wrote about her I talked about her biting and how I knew it came from her daycare. I talked to the ladies who take care of her as well as the director the next day. They confirmed that two of the other little kids her age are biters but they hadn't seen it from her. I made it clear to them that I wasn't thrilled with the fact that they hadn't really dealt with the problem with the other two and now it was coming over to my daughter. It came down to different "parenting" techniques (I know they aren't "parents," but their way to deal with a biter is MUCH different than my way...). When The Girl would bite her brother I would tell her, "NO BITING" in a louder, lower voice than normal. Not yelling at her, but she definitely knew it was a different voice than the one I usually talk in. Then I would immediately remove her from the situation and put her in her room. Not for a "time out" because she's one; she wouldn't understand that anyway, but just to teach her that if she bites she gets taken away from the situation. About a minute later I would go into her room and tell her again, "No biting brother!" "That hurts brother." She would then repeat to me, "No bite bruh-dah. Ouchie bruh-dah" and most times would go into his room and say, "Sowwy bruh-dah" without any prodding from me. I could also read the situation. If she was getting frustrated (wanting his toy and trying to pull it from him...trying to sit in the chair that he was already sitting in...) she would generally yell out a frustration scream before she would go in for the bite. So when I saw the situation escalating, I would repeat to her, "No biting brother." She would then stop and repeat it back to me.

The daycare director wanted to just look at them in the eyes and put their finger over their mouth while shaking their head. Her theory was if you actually use the word "bite" then you are reinforcing the behavior. I don't agree at all. First of all, they aren't saying "no." That seems pretty basic to me. And secondly, if you just shake your head at them with your finger over your lips...well that doesn't really do a whole lot if you ask me. Kinda looks like blowing a kiss... Either way, we agreed to disagree and I told the lady who primarily watches her how I was handling it and gave her permission with my daughter to do as I was doing at home.

She never bit at daycare. And after that one weekend she doesn't bite at home anymore either. Like I mentioned above, if I see her getting frustrated sometimes I will remind her that we don't bite, but mostly she gets it. A couple of times she has put her mouth/teeth on me or her brother but never bitten down. So I'd say we dodged a bullet on that one...

Okay I have said it before but DAMN does my child talk a lot. I know girls are supposed to talk earlier than boys, and I also know that my frame of reference is completely skewed given that The Boy is still in speech therapy at 4 1/2. But she says 3 and 4 word sentences. She will repeat anything you tell her and can say words that I would consider "tough" like "edamame," and "flower," and "spaghetti," etc... Just this week she started wandering around the house saying, "Monny...are du?" Asking me where I am. She said, "Monny take a shower" yesterday. She says, "Bruh-dah go bye bye" all the time. It is amazing. And she sings. AND knows the words to songs. If you say, "Twinkle twinkle little star," she will follow up with, "I wunder what du are..." Her brother like songs from The Little Mermaid right now and on the way to school this morning it was quiet and she said, "Monny! Poor Fortune Souls Pees!" It amazes me on a daily basis. If I call her name she now answers with, "What?" I feel like she is SO much older than she is because The Boy couldn't communicate like this until he was so much older. It won't be long before she is using a real phone making real calls...

She is still a great eater as far as I'm concerned. She has certain things that are always a hit, no matter what (Pir.ates Boot.y, Smart dogs, fruit of any kind, yogurt...) and then a ton of things that are hit and miss. One day she'll love them and then the next day she'll throw them on the floor. I no longer make her a special dinner; she gets what we are having. Her brother still gets special meals at times but not her. And for the most part she's fine. I may supplement with a fruit or something but she gets what we get. And she gets it on a plate now. She sees her brother and me using a plate everyday and damnit she wants one too. She is really good with it and uses a plate and her fork with every meal. Sometimes I have to spear the food onto her fork for her but she's actually getting really good with doing that by herself too. And you have to be careful when she's nearing the end of a meal because she has been known to declare, "ALL DONE!" and then chuck the plate off her tray but I am teaching her that isn't the best behavior. Overall she does really great at meal times and loves eating with the big people (which is always, my kids eat with me every night). Here she is sitting at the table at my birthday dinner...
In terms of technical things...she is a little peanut like her Mommy. She's not going to be tall, which is fine with me given the size of her brother. She wears size 12-18 months in everything but the pants are still a little too long. The tops that I am buying for winter stuff is all 24 months but still 18 month pants. Her jammies are all 24 months. She wears a size 4.5 shoe and I just bought her her first pair of real shoes. As opposed to all the sandals she has had all summer long. They were purple with silver and I love them. She still has the 6 main teeth (4 up top, two on the bottom), but the top two molars are through and one of the bottom molars came through today I think. Also the teeth right next to her bottom two are white and about to poke through. She is teething like crazy and will chew on anything she can get her mouth onto.

Okay the nursing...yes we are still doing it. I haven't completely given it up. BUT! We are down to once a day right before bed. I got rid of the morning feed so now it is only the one time a day before bed. I am okay with this for now. I say that I will give that one up by 18 months. That is my goal right now. Because while she never asks for it, or god forbid, lifts my shirt or anything...the other day when she latched on she looked up at me and smiled and went, "MMMMMM!!!!" and I'm sorry, but a kid that is old enough to comment on the content of the boob she's eating is probably too old to be eating off said boob. So I'm working on it. 18 months, I swear. :)

I'm contemplating the hair cut. But I really don't know what to do. Any of you with little girls out there, I would love to hear your feedback. Right now I put her hair up everyday. It's either in one pony on top of her head, or else it's in pig tails. And the back is all one length and curly. I hesitate to cut bangs because while I am not opposed to bangs in general, I don't want ALL of her hair coming forward to be chopped off at the bang area. I want her hair to go back and then perhaps a little wisp of bangs or something. But I just don't know. So for now? I leave it alone and put it up. Plus, I fear that once we do that first haircut all those adorable little baby curls will come off and not come back. And I love those little curls.

I was telling my mom today how I can't even imagine life without her. I remember before she was born I was so confused and felt like my life was SO full with just The Boy. I couldn't imagine someone else being in our little family. But now...it seems like life would be so dull without her around. She is so freaking funny and such a bright shining light of happiness...I simply cannot imagine her not being here and being a part of our family. Thankfully I don't have to.

A Special Day

I give you three guesses what today is...

It's my birthday. I turn 36 this year. And you know what? I am pretty damn stoked. Life is full and very busy, but pretty wonderful at the same time. My celebrations started last night (Saturday night) when I went out with my BFF for the evening. The Ex watched the kids so I was free. We started at the wine bar where I did a flight of Pinot Noir which was FABULOUS from some local wineries. Then we shopped around for a bit and had a fabulous dinner. I ordered the lobster roll and it was SO good and quite the indulgence. They even brought me a free dessert of strawberry shortcake, which was totally tasty.

I arrive home around 9:30 (I know, I'm such a rock star, right?) and The Boy is waiting up for me. The Girl had been bathed and was sound asleep. He asked if he could sleep in my bed that night so, "He could be the first one to wish me a happy birthday in the morning." Seriously. How do you say no to that? You don't. So he bunked with me. This is the first time he has ever slept with me since he was a baby. He was a good boy although he didn't fall asleep until 11:00pm. I snuggled with him for a while and then read a book on my iPhone until he fell asleep and then I did too.

Pretty damn cute to wake up to him giving me a hug. And about a half an hour later The Girl woke up and joined the two of us in bed and we all lounged around together and watched some TV for at least an hour. We had a really relaxing day and had a picnic lunch outside, which the kids love. Then my mom came and took The Boy on some last minute errands (they were picking up some cupcakes and having him pick flowers out for me). And after they left I sat with my daughter in the rocking chair and just rocked her. The house was completely quiet. There was no TV, no radio, no noise, just the two of us sitting chest to chest in the rocking chair and rocking. We sat that way for at least 10 minutes and then she dozed off to sleep. I can't even remember the last time she fell asleep with me. She goes and goes and goes and is not a snuggler by any stretch of the imagination. So to have that time with her? Seriously best birthday present I could get. Snuggle time with my boy last night and then with my girl this morning.

Later I am having dinner out with the gay boyfriends, my mom and step dad and my grandmother. And of course the kids. It's going to be a nice day. Nothing big or fancy or crazy, just lots of mellow time with the ones I love. Pretty freaking perfect.

Here are my real presents:

The Boy...In All His Glory

Life is still insanely busy during the weeks but I wanted to do a quick update on what's been going on. I will do one kid at a time and since I am sitting here next to The Boy, let's start with him. I just picked him up from school and he is now eating his lunch because he is in a new phase where he is refusing to eat lunch at school. We have always had food issues, but we used to have like 5 things that he was guaranteed to eat. And for all of last year he ate the exact same thing in his lunchbox every single day: A jelly sandwich, "circle crackers" (Ritz), grapes and a water. Every day. Now he has decided he doesn't like sandwiches. He seems to think that like 10 grapes and 5 circle crackers is sufficient for lunch. I don't agree.

All this to tell you all that we are still dealing with his weight issues. He continues to go see his gastro for a weight check every three months. He continues to be on the appetite stimulating medication. And he continues to not eat. It's fantastic.

He did however just "graduate" from his neurologist. We went and saw him last Friday and even though his head is still on the small side (2nd percentile I think), it has been consistent. He is no longer showing any signs of being behind the other kids or any developmental delays. He is smart as a whip (don't ALL parents say that?) and is doing great in school so we aren't concerned about his brain. The brain looks good. So we don't have to go back to him anymore. (For those that don't remember we were sent there for his head being too small and that coupled with his gross motor issues and speech delays sent us in the hospital for a brain MRI...all which came out fine, but he has been monitored every 6 months since then).

His ear healed nicely. We got the stitches out last Friday and you can still see it, but I am hoping we won't need to do plastic surgery. His doctor said that even if we do need to have surgery it wouldn't happen for a few years. Right now the best thing we can do for it is to put major sunscreen on it everyday. So that's what we're doing.

So The Boy played soccer for the past 8 weeks. It was humorous at best. The Ex bought him a pimped out soccer outfit including cool Adidas shoes and he looked adorable. And for the first few weeks he really liked it. He looked forward to it and would tell me afterward that he had a great time. He was pretty slow; I think he obsessed on keeping the ball exactly where he wanted it so he didn't really RUN and kick. He more sort of walked and kicked. But he also would lay down on the field "for a little rest" and check out the bugs in the grass and the flowers on the side... So he isn't going to be the next David Beckham. When I asked him a couple of weeks ago if he wanted to do soccer again he said, "I really like the water breaks, but I'm not so sure about the kicking part." Nice. Needless to say we aren't signing up for another 8 weeks right now. I haven't written it off, but we will talk about it again next spring.

He IS doing karate at his school and he seems to really like that. My whole deal with extracurricular sports is that 1) if he signs up for something he has to see it through. Like for soccer, even if he had hated it, he would have had to complete the 8 weeks. And 2) he has to be doing SOMETHING physical. I don't care what it is...but there has to be some physical activity going on. The kid would be thrilled to death to sit in his room all day long and play with his bugs and snakes, but he needs to work on the large motor skills. Get that boy out and running and get his heart pumping. Plus, there is a part of me that secretly hopes it will make him hungry. Hasn't happened yet, but hey...a girl can hope!

He is back in speech therapy for a little "tune up." You can totally understand him and if he were being testing I'm sure he would come out "age appropriate." But he still struggles with pronunciation. He can't really do "L's" or "TH's" and has a bit of a lisp with his "S's." So we are going back. When I listen to the other kids in his class they all speak more clearly than he does. And since he is starting kindergarten in a year, I want to work on this now. We met with his therapist a couple of weeks ago and she agreed that he needed a little work. So I am shelling out the cash, yet again, most likely with a little help from my mom, and getting him the help he needs. We are going every Monday morning at 8:00am. Do you have any idea how hard it is to have two kids up and dressed and out of the house by 7:40am? Yeah. Good times.

He started Pre-K at his school yesterday and he loves it. It is the same school he has been going to for a while now so he is totally comfortable and loves it. His teacher told me at the "back to school" thing that he loves his science and that he is always the kid that makes the new kids feel welcome. I thought that was pretty sweet. And today when I picked him up his teacher told me, "I have to tell you...[The Boy] has totally become the popular kid. ALL the kids want to play with him during the play time. Especially all the boys." I said, "My kid?!?!" Because dear God we all know that I love that little boy more than life itself, but seriously? The popular kid? My kid with the pasty white skin and the red hair and freckles? But thank God. That is a good thing to hear.

Okay enough babbling on about the little dude. It is time to go and get him and throw him in the bath tub. His sister will be home any minute and we need to get both of them washed. He is currently playing with his Mr. Pot.ato He.ad that he got for finally filling up his sticker chart. And when I told him it was time to get in the bath he told me, "Silly Mommy. Potatoes don't take a bath!"

The Big Girl

Dear Peanut,

I thought I wasn't going to write you another letter until you were 18 months old, but I simply had to. You turned 15 months old today and I really need to remember what a fabulous age this is. You are becoming your own little girl more and more everyday. Your personality is coming out and you now have distinct likes and dislikes and mood swings and belly laughter and an appreciation for the world around you more than ever before. There are so many things about who you are today that I don't ever want to forget so I must document them. I am not nearly as organized as I was during your monthly letters so I am going to go at this bullet style and then follow up with a few pics and call it a day. Sound good?

• There is just no way to try and categorize you as a baby anymore. You are SO in the realm of toddler. The other day your brother referred to you as his baby sister and even a perfect stranger told him, "She's not a baby anymore..." No more denying it. My "baby" is gone. But I'm okay with that because each day is better than the last where you're concerned.
• You started walking for real the day I posted about you walking with your new shoes. Prior to that you would walk between people if prompted but from that day forward, no more crawling. At all. You are upright, all the time. Crawling is so last month!
• I simply cannot get over how much you talk. I know I have mentioned it on here before and I have no real comparison given that your brother had speech issues from a young age, but DAMN!! You talk all the time. Real words. I started counting how many words you had the other day so I knew for your doctors appt and I stopped counting at 35. That's insane. Not all of them are pronounced perfectly, but they work. You are a talker. You are following in your Mommy's footsteps in that vain my daughter...
• Speaking of that, you call your brother "bruh-dah" and I think it's the cutest thing ever. You adore him. Except for when you don't, but mostly you love, love, love him. The other day he was gone for most of the day and you walked around the house calling for him. When he finally got home you squealed with such excitement and yelled "bruh-duh! Heyo bruh-duh!!" So effing sweet...
• Your growing. Specifically your feet. About a month ago I bought you a new pair of shoes in a size 4. The week before that (literally one week) you had measured a 3 1/2 so I bought you a pair of those. Then just last week I couldn't stuff your little feet into the 4's. So I went out, again, and got you measured and bought you some new 4/5's. You are officially a 4 1/2. Not huge, but again that is a full size growth in like 6 weeks. Again, your brother wore the same size shoes each time for like a year. He only wears an 8 now and he's four years old. So no experience with this whole fast growing thing. It wears me out a little bit. Good thing I like buying you shoes.
• Now that you're walking you have to be carrying something around at all times. You think it is just too cool to be able to move AND carry your toys, so there is always at least one toy in each hand. Your favorite thing to carry, by FAR, is your brother's straw cup. If I fill it with water, you will drink out of it. And then take another drink...cause, you know, it's fun...and then realize that you have WAY too much water in your mouth so you spit it out. Rinse and repeat. I have learned to just give you an empty cup. That seems to make you happy.
• You still only have the 6 teeth but dear GOD...you have to be teething. Your hands are in your mouth constantly. And I swear you're going to get more than just the 6 teeth...
• Even though you only have 6 teeth you have NO problem eating pretty much anything I put in front of you. You could gum a steak if I would give it to you. The other night you scarfed an entire chicken apple sausage. You can still swallow and eat things your brother refuses to even touch.
• However. You are not the magical eater you once were. You know have cravings and grudges and moods. What you will one day scarf with pure unabandoned joy, the next day you will spit out at me like I have given you poison. Then the next day? Somehow fabulous again. I now have to show you the food item before trying to give it to you and you either say "no," or "nom." We proceed accordingly.
• On that note, I am no longer allowed to simply put food on your tray. If I do so, you will just immediately take your hands and wipe it all clean onto the floor. No thank you. What you prefer (actually insist) is that I put your food onto a fork and hand you the fork. You then put the fork into your own mouth and hand it back to me. Then I am allowed to put another item onto your fork (after properly checking with your whims first) and hand it to you. We proceed like this through the entire meal. If I am trying to eat my own meal at the same time? One of us is usually unsuccessful. I give you one guess on the one who goes hungry.
• You wave at everything. The cats. Your Gigi. You wave goodbye to me when you leave a room. But you absolutely refuse to wave to someone you don't know, or if I happen to ask you to wave to someone. That gets refused. But by far the cutest wave happens at the end of the night when I put you in your crib and tell you goodnight. You wave night night to me. You have your binky in your mouth so you smile around it and wave. And my heart melts. Every single night.
• You are happy about 90% of the time. Seriously a totally happy little girl. Unless something doesn't go your way. Example: Your brother takes the toy back that you have just stolen from him. You have to have your diaper changed when you are in the middle of something MUCH more important. Someone DARES to shut the baby gates on you when you are high tailing it into said room illegally. Someone has the nerve to not understand your pointing and grunting communication technique and offers you something different than what you actually want. Or god forbid we are sitting up on a bed or couch or something that you can't get up onto and therefore feel left out. If any of the above scenarios occur you scream like...well like a little girl. Loud and high pitched. The length of your scream depends on how serious you deem the infraction against you. You have been known to let out just a high pitched scream and then to move on literally the next second, but you have also been known to cry for over a half an hour if you're really good and pissed.
• Okay Mommy has gotten a little out of control with the bullet points. It's clear that I think you're the cutest thing in the universe right now and I want to just put a little bubble around it and capture every moment in my memory so I never forget. But for now we'll just do a few pics and call it a night.

Mommy still isn't sure what to do about your hair. I put it up every day in either one pony tail on top of your head, or pig tails. And if I didn't? Here's what it would look like all the time:

Here you are practicing walking. This was all you wanted to do on our "staycation" a few weekends ago. There was a little slope/ramp thing and you just went up and down trying to master the balance it took...
Now that you can walk you think you should be able to drag the rest of us around with you. Here you are trying to convince your Gramps that you are not nearly as entertained by snakes as your brother.
You have NO fear. None. You see your brother going up and down that slide and you want to be a part of it too. You go up to pretty much anyone and bat your eyelashes and point to the slide like, "Can't you possibly just put me up there just this one time? Pretty please?" And then when you find a sucker to agree, you immediately demand that they repeat the process over and over and over and over...until they are ready to pass out.
This is pretty much all I see of you these days. Walking away from me ready to explore the world...a toy in your hand and another on the floor that you got sick of carrying.
Keep walking my little girl. I will be following and supporting you from every angle. I love you more than words will ever be able to express. Happy 15 months old baby.

PS--This is my 350th post! Holy crap, that's a lot of blogging!

Quite A Day...

Today I returned my breast pump to the place that I rented it from almost 15 months ago. I remember walking into that place on April 15, 2009 HUGELY pregnant and contracting and so effing miserable I wasn't sure if I would live the next 5 days to birth my baby. But I did. And even when I rented that pump I wondered how breast feeding would go. I remembered my son who never latched and who I pumped for exclusively and breast fed for just 5 months. I hoped that it would go better but after living through the stress of what went down with my son, I was resolved that I was going to give it my best shot and if it didn't work out I wasn't going to beat myself up about it.

Who knew I would become one of those crazy breast feeding Mom's who is still talking about how to wean their kid at 15 months old? Who knew that I would be able to successfully breast feed and pump for over a year? I sure didn't. But it marks an ending. The returning of the pump (which I haven't actually used in almost a month) marks the end of my baby being a baby. She is still my baby, of course, and she always will be. But she is no longer the little baby that requires me to pump up to 5 times a day so that she can have exclusive breast milk while she was in daycare. Thank God for that.

And since we are here, I will give you the honest scoop (I am lying to pretty much everyone who asks me about whether or not I am still nursing...) Yes, we still are. Last week she was sick and teething and DEMANDED to be nursed during the day. (And by "demanded," I mean she would cry for over a half an hour even after I had "redirected" her like 50 times and given her yogurt, and offered her a cup of cows milk... And then I would nurse her for 5 minutes and she would pull off and look up and smile at me, TOTALLY HUMAN AGAIN, like, "was the really so hard Mommy?") But beside that week, we are sticking firmly to first thing in the morning and last thing at night. No more. I am going to try and give up the first thing in the morning soon. Soon-ish... I swear... Sometime really, really soon... :)

On another note, my daughter is hysterical. Seriously. I wish I could post all the things she does everyday that make me laugh, but I simply can't. But I have today's example. My BFF sent me an online coupon for a pair of Crocs that were on sale for a ridiculously low price (like $8 total including tax and shipping). So I ordered them for her even though she is barely in a size 4 shoe and these were size 4/5. I figured she would grow into them. They arrived today. And I showed them to her.

Her eyes lit up. "SHOES!!" She exclaimed. "Shoes ON," she told me. And promptly sat down and stuck her fat little foot in my direction. So I put them on. She LOVES them. My daughter loves shoes. Who does this kid belong to? Seriously? I have like a total of 4 pairs of shoes and will wear each of those until they blatantly fall apart and require me to purchase something to replace them. I am not one of those girls with 50 pairs of shoes in her closet. Not even close. But my daughter constantly reminds me she is her own person. So here is a video of her walking (have I mentioned that is totally official now?) with her new shoes? Too big and all, but damnit, she is going to ROCK her new shoes.

Breast pump returned to its owner. Said baby is officially walking and rocking her own look and the new shoes that she loves. I can't believe how fast it is all going...

Catch Up Post

It's late and I have no business posting right now. I should be sleeping. But the whole neglected blog thing... It's a bullet post!

• The Boy LOVED Toy Story 3. It was his first time in a movie theater. He thought the little lights on the stairs were fabulous and "sparkly." He didn't like the chairs. He felt like it was going to swallow him (spent the movie on my lap, on Gigi's lap or standing in the isle making Buzz Lightyear poses). He felt the previews...wait, apparently we are calling them trailers now, were WAY too loud. But once the movie started? Bliss. Seriously. He kept looking over at me and telling me how much he loved it. And I loved it too. SO worth it.
• The Girl is insanely cute right now. Really cute and sometimes really annoying. The other morning she opened up her brother's closet and took out every single shirt that was hanging on the bottom level of his closet. She threw them all in a pile in the middle of the room and was throwing them above her head yelling, "Hooray!" when I walked in.
• Because of above and many other instances like it, we have put up the pack n play in The Boy's room. She goes in there when she gets too unruly. So far it has worked well. I throw a bunch of her toys in there with her and she can still be in the same room with him but can't destroy his stuff. Makes both of them happy and allows me to shower in peace. Priceless.
• The Girl is officially able to walk. That doesn't mean she chooses to do so. She would still MUCH prefer to crawl. But if I tell her "walkie walkie" she will stand up and do it. When she falls down on her bum she looks at me and says, "No, no, no..." because I tell her no and to get back up and keep walking. So she can officially do it, but still doesn't make it happen a whole lot. I'm okay with that.
• She now answers her brother. Like when he says, "Do you want to play the tree game?" She grins and says, "Yeah!" When he asks her, "Do you want to stay in the bath with me?" "Yeah." No matter what he asks her she answers "Yeah." But apparently she can now recognize his tone when he is asking a question and she answers him. Wicked cute.
• She is talking up a storm. I can't even count the number of words. She will mimic pretty much anything you ask her to. Or do her best at it. I find this endlessly fascinating. For a Mom who spent her first child's entire first three years in speech therapy it is amazing to watch how easily it comes to my daughter. And damn...she never shuts up. Again, pretty wicked cute.
• Tonight we had a shift. We got home late from work/daycare and she sat in the middle of the floor making the sign for milk and crying and pointing at the chair I usually nurse her in. So I let her nurse. This was at like 5:30pm. So around bedtime she started signing again and I let her nurse. Clearly there wasn't very much milk in there. She was signing for milk while she was nursing. So after she finished I offered her a sippy cup of cows milk. For the first time EVER, she didn't refuse it. She didn't drink a whole lot (maybe a half an ounce) but she put it in her mouth and chewed on it and held the cup. She usually pushes it away immediately. So this was a step.
• I am trying not to over think the above "shift." She's 14 months old. If she's ready to be done with nursing I am ready to let her be done. But I'm not going to force her either. We just nurse in secret. If anyone asks me if I'm still nursing her (family members) I simply tell them no and then go home and nurse her. Makes everyone happy. I do what I want and I don't have to hear any crap about it. Seems like a good solution for all. Overall, for right now I am not pushing the issue either way. I am letting her lead. If she's done, cool. If not, I'll let her continue for a bit more. If she gets much older I will reassess. But for now, I'm coasting. And lying. Hee hee.
• Okay and finally? If anyone out there is not watching Deadliest Catch, you are MISSING OUT. Seriously the best show on TV right now. I have been a fan from the start and this season is just...so damn emotional and amazing. Insane.
• That's all. I'm out. I should give you a picture for making it through this post but I am downloading a bunch of stuff right now and it would take forever to load. So later, I swear.

Wordless Wednesday...Walking?!?!

Oh God...it is coming...it is coming...

I Miss Blogging

I really do. This new work project is forcing me to work like a fiend all day long while my kids are in daycare, then come home and do dinner and baths and get them to bed, only to do another shift of work before I am finally able to relax and go to bed myself. It is exhausting to say the least. I just put the kids down and I am about to start my "second shift," but I miss writing here. Life is going on around me while I am busy working and I am missing it. So let's do some bullet points so at least I can get a little bit off my chest.

• My 93 year old grandmother's house sold today. She moved out right before Christmas time into an assisted living facility. It's much better for her. But I am having all sorts of weird emotions about someone else being inside the house that was only owned by my Grandmother and Grandfather (they were the original owners). I spend every major holiday of my entire life (not an exaggeration) in that house. And now someone else will. Very odd.
  
• My daughter is a brute. Seriously. In some ways it cracks me up and in other ways I am worried about the future when she is bigger than her brother and will seriously be beating the crap out of him on a regular basis. She steals a book from him? He looks at me wounded-like and I tell him, "Take it back." He tries but she grabs harder and spins her body away from him. And he just gives up. I know he is taught to never take a toy (or anything for that matter) from another kid with his Montessori training, but seriously. She is 1 and he is 4 and she always wins. Always. It's a little bit funny. Just a little bit.
• The other day we were getting a splinter out of his foot and he was laying in my lap while The Ex worked with the pin and the tweezers at his feet. He was traumatized by the entire ordeal. However his sister wanted to get into my lap (I am trying to wean her off of her daytime nursing sessions and it was almost 3:00pm and she hadn't been nursed since 6:00am and she WANTED it; and wanted it NOW!). So while he lie there being stressed, she was literally grabbing him by the hair and trying to pull him out of my lap. She also tried to wedge her head underneath his shoulder and push him out that way. She's a pushy little thing. Again, only slightly amusing.
• The bug/insect/spider/plant/nature obsession continues over here. I cannot even tell you all how many conversations I have had about different types of beetles and how all insects have a head, an abdomen and a thorax, and the intricate inner-workings of how a Venus Flytrap eats a fly. People who encounter my son always comment on how smart he is... But I think they are missing the OCD portion of the obsession. Yes, he's smart, but seriously. Today he took all of my mother's silk flowers and all of his play bees and he pollinated all of the flowers. He spent an hour doing this and discussing all the details of each process he accomplished. He is going to be a little scientist. Or a crazy person.
  
• On that note he brought home a dead bee from school the other day in a plastic cup. He carried that thing around for hours telling anyone who would listen to all the different parts of the bee. At the end of the night when I tried to throw away the DEAD BUG, he had melt down. He told me, "My teacher said I could keep it." I said, "She probably meant it was okay for you to bring it home. But we aren't keeping it. It's a dead bug, and it's dirty. It needs to go back out into nature so...I don't know...so natural things can happen to it." He thought about that for a minute and said, "You're probably right. I know a hungry spider outside that I met earlier that could really use a good meal..."
• The Girl took 4 steps yesterday and 5 today. They are still REALLY wobbly, but it isn't far away. She stands all the time by herself and thinks about taking a step but usually just decides to sit down and crawl. After all, it is MUCH more efficient. And wherever she happens to be going, I guarantee she's in a hurry.
• She turns 13 months old tomorrow. Sheesh.
• I will no longer be doing monthly letters. I will do an 18 month letter and a 2 year old letter and then go to every year from then on.
• I know you will all now be able to sleep tonight knowing what my plan is for my letters to my children.
• Okay I have gotten a little slap happy. Time to end this post and go back to work.

I miss writing and venting. I miss sitting on my ass at the end of a long day and watching a TV show. I miss going to bed earlier than 11:00 and getting up later than 5:45am. I miss just hanging out with my kids and not thinking about all the things that need to be done. I think things should slow down a little bit shortly. At least I can hope.

Firsts

We have had lots of "firsts" around here lately. First time being a whole year old has led to some new things for The Girl. Our pediatrician is one who doesn't want the kids to have diary until they are a year old (I know that's not a general rule, but it's one we followed) so recently The Girl has tried out yogurt and string cheese. She LOVED the cheese, but no so much the yogurt. I will keep trying though, she ate more today than she did yesterday, so perhaps it is an acquired taste. She also had whole milk with her breakfast today. She spit it out and looked at me like, "What the hell is this?" when I gave her a sippy cup full of it. But she went back a couple of times and ended up drinking about an ounce. Not too horrible for her first time.

This is also the "first" time we have had any reaction to immunization shots. She got the chicken pox and something else at her one year checkup on Wednesday. She was okay Wednesday, a little fussy on Thursday and then got a fever on Friday. She was sleeping like crazy and had a fever of around 100 all day long. Not too bad and I attributed it to her shots. Then yesterday she still had a fever all day long and it went as high as 103 but stayed down around 100 when I kept the Tylenol in her. Today so far we are in the 101 range. Three days of fevers? She has never had a fever before in her whole little life. She is pretty pitiful. At first I was enjoying the "cuddly" baby but after three days she has transitioned from "cuddly" to "clingy" and I just want my healthy, happy little girl back. Damn shots.

I am going to try and cut out her daytime nursings now that she is one. But with the fevers, that hasn't worked out so well so far. She wants to nurse cause she feels crappy, and who can really blame her? So I haven't been pushing it. (Plus she hasn't even been one for a whole week yet). But today I put her down for her morning nap without nursing her first for the first time. I offered her that leftover sippy cup of milk. She took one big swig of it, spit that out, and then said, "all done." So I put her in her crib and she passed out. Poor sweetie.

The Boy is awesome even though I haven't been posting very much about him lately. He is absolutely obsessed with the "Life" series on the Discovery channel. He loves it. His favorites are "Insect," "Reptiles and Amphibians," "Plants," and "Fish." But he will watch any of them. He has his very own live caterpillars in his room that are going to turn into butterflies (perhaps you've seen the commercials on Sprout, like he did?) and he is obsessed with watching them. He is ALL about all things bugs right now. Bugs and nature. He loves it. Side note: One of the sponsors of the "Life" program is Volkswagen with those charming commercials, so now he runs around the house, punches either me or his sister on the arm, grins and yells, "Green one!" And then runs off. Thanks so much for that Volkswagen. Appreciate it.

And as a reward for making it through this entire post here are The Boy's very first school photos. I assumed they would be horrible with a cheesy background and his very unpleasant fake smile, but I was pleasantly surprised. Check out my model:

Such a little stud! Albeit a stud that will punch you in the arm yelling, "Red one!"