Wordless Wednesday

"Okay Mommy. I'll humor you that you think I look cute in my Hawaiian outfit and you want to take my picture on the grass on this beautiful (Sunday) day outside..."

"But I would like it known to the world that I do NOT enjoy this stuff you call grass. I don't like the feel of it, and frankly I find it to be sort of unpleasant..."
"Okay crazy picture Lady...get me the hell OFF this grass. NOW!!"
I hope everyone enjoys their Wednesday and no one makes you sit on the grass if you don't want to.

Damn Shots

Dudes.

My baby is a MESS y'all.

I have no idea why I'm talking like that. Could be the sleep deprivation, could be the constant touch of a one year old who WON'T.LEAVE.MY.SIDE...I don't know.

I already told you about the fevers. Four full days of them to be correct. Let's recount, shall we? She got the evil shots of death on Wednesday of last week. Wednesday was fine. Thursday she had a low grade fever and slept a lot. Friday her fever went higher and she slept even more. Saturday the fever reached 103 degrees and was generally pretty miserable. Oh, and she also developed a little rash on her girlie parts. Sunday she slept and slept and slept and had a fever of about 101. Monday she went back to school.

When I picked her up they said she hadn't napped at all (which was completely surprising given the sleep fest over the weekend) but that she had been in good spirits and hadn't been overly clingy. Oh, but she seems to be developing a bit of diaper rash. And she had several loose poops. Great. Fantastic. Today she was also at school, apparently slept for 2 hours and her diaper rash got worse. Like when you look at it your skin immediately cringes for the pain that must be going on in hers. Nasty redness and bumps and SCREAMING when cleaning a poop or anything of the sort; not that I blame her. She was clearly exhausted when she got home from daycare tonight but refused the little cat nap I offered her. She ate dinner but generally wasn't all that thrilled with food and would randomly start screaming for no reason, look really pitiful and then go back to eating (maybe when she was peeing and it hurt?). She took her hands and rubbed all over her ears and face and head while eating (and I know what you're thinking but she rubs her ears all the time and I just had the pediatrician look at her ears on Wednesday and he said they were beautiful) so after dinner there was no choice but to have a bath. Even though she had one last night.

So I bathed her and she seemed to enjoy herself. When she stood up in the sink and turned around I noticed a rash all over her little back. And going down the front of her neck...and now that I look at it...pretty much all over her little body. I caked her little self in Desitin and wrapped her up in her most comfy sleeper and proceeded to try and make her feel better. She was pitiful though. Whiny, crying, wanting to be held but then crying to get down and then crying because, "Why the hell did you put me down Mommy...I CLEARLY want to be up..." I gave her some Tylenol and decided to nurse her and put her to sleep a half an hour early. While nursing she stopped and pulled away and just started screaming (again...maybe peeing? I have no clue...) and then chomped down on my boob when she went back for more (that was charming; we have avoided any biting thus far). She did the same thing on the other side. Then blissfully she fell asleep while nursing and I put her in her bed.

I assume this is the shots. I mean, it's the shots, right? The doctor specifically told me she could get a rash about a week after the shots. And the fevers had to be the shots. And the loose stools that caused the diaper rash from hell? Has to be the shots, right?

Right?

Firsts

We have had lots of "firsts" around here lately. First time being a whole year old has led to some new things for The Girl. Our pediatrician is one who doesn't want the kids to have diary until they are a year old (I know that's not a general rule, but it's one we followed) so recently The Girl has tried out yogurt and string cheese. She LOVED the cheese, but no so much the yogurt. I will keep trying though, she ate more today than she did yesterday, so perhaps it is an acquired taste. She also had whole milk with her breakfast today. She spit it out and looked at me like, "What the hell is this?" when I gave her a sippy cup full of it. But she went back a couple of times and ended up drinking about an ounce. Not too horrible for her first time.

This is also the "first" time we have had any reaction to immunization shots. She got the chicken pox and something else at her one year checkup on Wednesday. She was okay Wednesday, a little fussy on Thursday and then got a fever on Friday. She was sleeping like crazy and had a fever of around 100 all day long. Not too bad and I attributed it to her shots. Then yesterday she still had a fever all day long and it went as high as 103 but stayed down around 100 when I kept the Tylenol in her. Today so far we are in the 101 range. Three days of fevers? She has never had a fever before in her whole little life. She is pretty pitiful. At first I was enjoying the "cuddly" baby but after three days she has transitioned from "cuddly" to "clingy" and I just want my healthy, happy little girl back. Damn shots.

I am going to try and cut out her daytime nursings now that she is one. But with the fevers, that hasn't worked out so well so far. She wants to nurse cause she feels crappy, and who can really blame her? So I haven't been pushing it. (Plus she hasn't even been one for a whole week yet). But today I put her down for her morning nap without nursing her first for the first time. I offered her that leftover sippy cup of milk. She took one big swig of it, spit that out, and then said, "all done." So I put her in her crib and she passed out. Poor sweetie.

The Boy is awesome even though I haven't been posting very much about him lately. He is absolutely obsessed with the "Life" series on the Discovery channel. He loves it. His favorites are "Insect," "Reptiles and Amphibians," "Plants," and "Fish." But he will watch any of them. He has his very own live caterpillars in his room that are going to turn into butterflies (perhaps you've seen the commercials on Sprout, like he did?) and he is obsessed with watching them. He is ALL about all things bugs right now. Bugs and nature. He loves it. Side note: One of the sponsors of the "Life" program is Volkswagen with those charming commercials, so now he runs around the house, punches either me or his sister on the arm, grins and yells, "Green one!" And then runs off. Thanks so much for that Volkswagen. Appreciate it.

And as a reward for making it through this entire post here are The Boy's very first school photos. I assumed they would be horrible with a cheesy background and his very unpleasant fake smile, but I was pleasantly surprised. Check out my model:

Such a little stud! Albeit a stud that will punch you in the arm yelling, "Red one!"

Happy 1st Birthday Peanut

Oh my god. You're a year old. How did that happen? Seriously. How the hell did that happen? But here we are. And my daughter...what an amazing year this has been.

I want you to know that you are pure joy and sunshine. You bring smiles and happiness wherever you go. I cannot even begin to list the ways you have enriched my life. I always knew I wanted two kids. Always. But what I didn't know is that I wanted you. I wanted the smiles and the love along with the defiant fist pumps. I wanted the confidence and strengths along with the strong-willed nature. I wanted it all and I wanted you. And here you are.

At a year old you weigh 19.13 pounds, you stand 28 3/4 inches tall (you are a little Peanut just like your Mommy--a delicate flower like I have been saying all along...). You have 6 teeth. Four on the top, two on the bottom. You wear size 12 month pants and size 12-18 month shirts. You crawl everywhere at speeds that amaze people. I am constantly hearing, "Damn...that girl can MOVE!" You stand up on everything and transfer between furniture while standing but don't yet take any steps on your own.

You have a list of words that you use in the proper context: Up, down, Mama, Gigi, all done, uh oh, poop poop, hi and bye, thanks, and you also will try and mimic any words we tell you to say. Today when we told you about the fish on the wall you said fish. You amaze me with your little vocabulary. We have an alarm on the house and therefore anytime a door opens there are three little beeps that sound. Every time you hear the beeps you look up and smile and yell, "HI!!!" as if every time I am going out to the garage it means that someone is here to see you. When Gigi picks up her purse to leave you look at her and say "Bye!!" The little voice is so damn sweet. Remind me of this when you're four and I would give anything to have a moment of silence. Because I seriously see that in my future. But right now, it is a welcome little voice.

You love your kitty lovey most of all. You are pretty fond of your binkys but you know they are for the crib only so when you get up you say, "bye bye" and then throw it over the edge of the crib when I take you out. You love your Mommy and your brother and your Gigi and you have a pretty special relationship with your Poppy as well. There are so many people who love you. Your favorite toys right now are a toy cow that has buttons on it that plays music when you push the buttons. You love that damn thing. You would kill a small army to get your hands on my car keys. Your brother's "Kevin" doll is something so coveted that when you actually get your little hands on it you go tearing out of the room to hide it so he doesn't snag it back. You love to dance to music and clap your hands and you basically just love life.

You are a good sleeper going from 8:00 at night until around 7:00 in the morning, although you get up sometime around 6:00ish to nurse and then go back to sleep. Speaking of nursing...WE MADE IT! I can't believe we did it but together, you and I, we exclusively nursed you for a full year. Mommy is probably more stoked on that accomplishment than you are, but damn girl...we did it. Now the challenge is going to be figuring out how to stop doing it. I have no intention of taking away your before bed and first thing in the morning nursing, but the days? The things that force me to pump? Yeah. Those have got to stop.

I chose not to give you a big birthday party because I don't think that's what you would have wanted. Too many people around and you get shy. You get clingy. You are at your best surrounded by just a few people that you love to death. So that's what we did. And I think I made the right call. I think you had a damn fine birthday. Here are some pictures from the big day. First thing in the morning I sat you on your bean bag for your last "bean bag photo" and I was greeted with this reaction:

I don't know if the excitement was from being done with bean bag photos or because it was your birthday but you gave me your all! Thank you for that. I will stop torturing you with those photos now. But we got a really nice slide show out of it that hopefully one day you will enjoy. I am sorry I had to take you to daycare on your birthday but Mommy got sick with food poisoning the day before your birthday and was so behind on her work that I had no choice. But you partied there all day and when we picked you up it was time to party some more. Here you are with Mommy right after you got home.
After a lovely wholesome dinner it was time to open your gifts. If I'm being honest, your brother did most of the opening and you ate the paper that he discarded but you really seemed to dig the gifts that you got. Here you are playing with a cool wooden walker toy that Mommy got for you.
And then my dear...it was time for the cake. You have never had any sweets up until this point in your life so I wasn't sure if you would go crazy or turn your nose up. You weren't sure what to think initially either... A whole cake, just for you? Is this legal?
You played with the cake but didn't eat a whole lot. Not sure if it's because you were full or if you just didn't really dig the sweets thing. I guess time will tell. You sure made a good mess though and really, that's what it's all about.
My baby girl, you have given me such a wonderful last year. You will never truly understand all the joy and happiness you have brought to my life. You completed our family. I finally feel complete. I feel full. Full of joy and of love and of pride that I am blessed with two of the best kids there are. I have been telling you all year long that you are my little ray of sunshine. And you always will be. I love you dearly Peanut. Happy first birthday.

Watch My Baby Grow!

Here is the final result of my wrangling my child into the same place each month to get a picture of her. Watch her grow from days after she got home from the hospital to this morning...her first birthday! Enjoy!

I Can't Believe it is Here...

This time last year I was checking myself into the hospital to FINALLY have my baby. That's right, my baby girl is one year old today.

Unfortunately I am recovering from a nasty bout of food poisoning yesterday so her birthday post isn't ready yet. But it is coming. So is the culmination of her monthly bean bag photos. But for now...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PEANUT! I am SO glad you are here and a part of our family. I love you more than words can ever express.

Big First

Tonight, for the very first time, my boy is spending the night away from home. Yes, I realize he is 4 and he should have done this a LONG time ago...but when you're a single mom that's not in a relationship, there really isn't any reason to send your kid away. He stayed with my mom when I was in the hospital giving birth to his sister, but other than that, he has always been with me. Tonight he is going to his other Mom's house. I have sort of been pushing her to make this happen as I think it will be really good for him to experience sleeping somewhere else. And hopefully she will love it too. So I have packed up his little bag, his pillow pet, gotten his sleeping bag out of the garage and am sending him with big hugs and a hope for a fabulous night.

I just hope I can make it through the entire night without him... :)

PS--Thanks to Calliope at Creating Motherhood for my fabulous new header. If you're reading this from a reader, click through to check it out. She does good work!

Because of the Guilt

A meme from Cali...and I never do these, but she threw in a little guilt about how some of her blogs haven't been posting that much lately and well...the guilt won out. So here you go.

You.
Can.
Only.
Type.
One.
Word.
No.
Explanations.

Not as easy as you might think…

1. Yourself: Busy
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend: Nonexistent
3. Your hair: Roots
4. Your mother/stepmother: Wonderful
5. Your dog: None
6. Your favorite item: Bed
7. Your dream last night: Work
8. Your favorite drink: Water
9. Your dream car: Acura
10. The room you are in: Office
12. Your fear: Inadequacy
13. What you want to be in 10 years: Happy
14. Who you hung out with last night: Kids
15. What you’re not: Mellow
16. Muffin: Top
17: One of your wish list items: Laptop
18: Time: 1:oopm
19. The last thing you did: Lunch
20. What you are wearing: Jeans
21. Your favorite weather: Spring
22. Your favorite book: Kerouac
23. The last thing you ate: Chocolate
24. Your life: Content
25. Your mood: Happy
26. Your best friend(S): AMAZING
27. What are you thinking about right now? Pumping
28. Your car: Older
29. What are you doing at the moment?: Typing
30. Your summer: Cabin
31. Your relationship status: Single
32. What is on your TV?: Nothing
33. What is the weather like?: Mild
34. When is the last time you laughed?: Today

Okay she was right...that wasn't as easy as it seemed. Now copy and paste and put it on your own blog and leave me a comment so I know to come and look!

My Baby

On the cusp of her first birthday I find myself marveling at this little girl that is growing up before my eyes. Everyday she is doing something new. Today I had one of "those moments." You know the ones. The ones where the entire world fades to black around you and you wish you could be that girl from the old cheesy show "Out of this World" who could put her hands together and stop time. One of those moments where all the years of struggling to try and get pregnant and where going through horrific sickness and bed rest and contractions all somehow came together to give you this magical little human being you get to call your child.

One of those moments that when you try and type it out for the rest of the world to enjoy ends up sounding like just another day on paper. And you realize that there is no way to explain the feelings that go on between a mother and a daughter at 6:00am while nursing in bed. But for me, this was one of those moments that I don't want to forget, so I am going to document it. I know our nursing relationship will most likely be coming to an end soon so I am really treasuring the time we have left and I think the first morning feeding is still my favorite. Favorite because she snuggles up against me like we are "spooning" and she takes her other hand and gently pats my head and then my shoulder and then my waist and then back up to my head and then reaches down and fingers her lovey kitty blanket and then pats that as well. All is well and content in her world. And mine too for that matter. It is our time. Just the two of us. And this morning, when she was done nursing she pulled her head back and locked eyes with me, her face broke into a wide smile and she said, "Hi" in that perfect little baby voice. Like, "how wonderful to see you! I remember you!" She has recently started saying that when someone walks into a room, or when she pops her head up over the table or something. But this morning was the first time that we have conversed actual real words. And like I said above, I will never be able to capture that moment in words, but it really was one of the best parenting moments I have experienced. And I have had a lot of great parenting moments.

For the record, she has a few words that are real words, used in the correct context and said on a somewhat consistent basis. Those words are, "Hi," "Bye bye," "uh oh," "up," "Gigi" (insert jealous feelings that Gigi is being said before Mommy but moving on quickly...) and "all done." There may be more, but those are the ones I can think of right now. I am trying to get her on video saying them because there is seriously nothing cuter than her little baby voice.

Quick! Buy a Lottery Ticket!

...because I am feeling lucky today.

I have talked on here probably more than I should have about the fact the my little dude is a little, shall we say, "reserved?" He has never been the kid running around the play ground with the other kids. And I am okay with that. But lately he has really come into his own. I think this new school is helping tremendously with that. Today we went to a birthday party at a local little zoo place and after the party I said we could go anywhere in the park and do anything he wanted to do. I told him I was going to follow him (I was inspired by Finding Chaos and their trip to Disneyland so he was out of the stroller walking and I was following him pushing The Girl in The Bob) but that he was leading the way. Much to my surprise he led me to the play ground area. It should be noted that if I was in charge of where I took him, I would have never gone to the play ground area. He immediately started climbing up a little net and looked over at me and told me he was a spider and he was climbing on his web. Then he went further and further and well...check this shit out!

That little dot of yellow? That's MY BOY people! Can you believe that? I was there by myself practically crying I was so proud of him. I wanted to scream at all the people around us, "LOOK AT HIM!!" "That's MY kid up there." "No. You don't understand...he doesn't DO this stuff..." I couldn't believe it. As soon as he reached that top level he wanted to come down. He said it was a little shaky for him. So he did. He made it down all by himself.

I swear to God it's moments like these that make parenting this amazing child so worth it. Speaking of that, for any of you out there who might be reading this and who might have a child that is similar to my son in any way, I was recommended a book that is just fabulous. I am only about 60 pages into it (who has time to read anyway?) but I feel like it was written just for me all about my child. It is called "The Highly Sensitive Child" by Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D. It is so unbelievably helpful. At the beginning it lists 23 different traits of "HSC's" and tells you to make a check by any that resemble your child. If 13 or more fit your child then you probably have an "HSC." I checked 21 out of 23. I will get more into this in another post because it deserves a post all of its own, but part of reading this book has taught me to embrace the child that he is. It has taught me that he doesn't have to play on the play ground like all the other kids to make him fabulous. And just when I go and accept him for exactly who he is? Well he goes and plays like a rock star.
Today was a good day. A good, good day. Hope yours is too.

Back to the Grind

It is so hard to get back to work after two weeks of having at least one child home with me. It was also the first day I had to use the pump in over a week and a half. Sure didn't miss that...

Super busy at work today but wanted to drop in to hope everyone had a fabulous holiday weekend (if you celebrate) and to give you a little family photo of my fam on Easter. Happy Monday everyone!




-- Post From My iPhone

Location:Stevens Creek Blvd,San Jose,United States