It was my LAST appointment. So strange. I have been going twice a week for the past 8 weeks plus all the "normal" appointments before that. And now it just stops. Done. Don't need to see you anymore. Peace Out. So weird. My favorite nurse hasn't been there since the day I had my breakdown, so I didn't get to say goodbye to her, and they had a couple of new people working so I didn't really even see anyone that I usually see except my doctor. She was very sweet and congratulated me on getting as far as I have and told me she would see me Monday. Did I mention this seems weird?
I honestly NEVER in a million years thought I would make it this far. Really I didn't. My BP was sky high at 29 weeks and they put me on bed rest at that visit. I will be one day shy of 38 weeks when I go on for my c-section on Monday. That is like full, full term. Like almost normal. I am not going to lie and say that they last 2 months have "flown by" or that they were wonderful or anything. If I'm being honest, the last 2 months of my life have been two of the hardest months of my life. Not only physically, but emotionally as well. This has been TOUGH. Some of the stuff I have blogged about, but there was also the big "unbloggable event" that shook me to the core. I have tried my best to get through it with the most amount of dignity that I could, but there have been times where it almost took me. I am not going to look back at those times right now, but instead look forward to Monday. And in the meantime give myself a little pat on the back for making it this far. I earned this little girl, damnit. From the moment that I put it out there that I was looking for a new known donor to have a second child, through doing the inseminations at home BY MYSELF, to the morning sickness and the second guessing and the final months of bed rest hell...I worked hard to bring her here. And when the little tramp looks at me with her 13-year-old smart mouth and says, "I don't know why you even had me! I hate my life!" I will smile softly...and then kill her.
Today I spent the day in the sunshine with my boy (screw bed rest! 3 days people...). We ate lunch with my mom and my grandmother and he played in the fountain and layed on the grass and rolled around and life felt almost normal. And then we left and I went to rent my breast pump and get some final items and now we are home. And he is peacefully sleeping and there is a little foot in my rib cage that is wiggling its toes. And a little hand that seems to feel the need to punch me in the bladder every 4 minutes. And in three short days she will be here. I will get to look into the eyes of the little girl who has gone on this journey with me. And we will begin all of the journeys to come. Together...the three of us. My little family.