Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Quick Update

This will be quick.  My appointment today was very boring.  Nothing to report.  No changes.  Blood pressure was the same and the baby passed her non stress test.  I am still contracting like crazy, but they aren't concerned about it right now.  Rinse and repeat.  I go back on Friday to see if anything has changed.

It's so ironic that I fought so hard to get to this point (I am 36 weeks today) and now all I want is for this to be over.  I completely understand that having a healthy baby is the priority and therefore it is best to keep her "cooking" as long as possible.  But I am miserable.  Seriously miserable.  I have a cold, I am having totally uncomfortable (but apparently unproductive) contractions like every 5 minutes that make me feel like I am having the worst period of my life, the baby is sitting so low that I can't even pee without feeling like I am bending her head in half and that happens every 45 minutes when I have to pee.  I can't take a deep breath.  Every single bone in my body aches and I feel like I am going to pass out if I stand up for more than 5 minutes, but sitting down is horribly uncomfortable as well.  Completely and totally miserable.  And so unbelievably DONE with being pregnant.  But I get it.  If there isn't a medical reason to deliver this baby then she shouldn't be delivered.  And I understand that.  And I will suffer through this as long as I have to because I want a healthy baby.  But I am cranky and tired and haven't slept and just want to not feel this way anymore.  And I have almost a full two weeks left.  Because OF COURSE I am going to make it to my scheduled c-section.  Because frankly the thought of two more weeks of this makes me cry.  Seriously.  So now I am off to cry.

Will muster up some cheerfulness soon...I swear...  Sorry to you all for being such a downer.

3 comments:

oneofhismoms said...

Oh, I hear you sister! I remember that so well. As you know, soon it will all be a blur. Just go hug that only child of yours and spend some time gazing into his eyes.

Carey said...

Yeah for 36 weeks!! I'm sorry things have been so rough... but you are so close!! Hang in there!!

cmay said...

Yay for 36 weeks! But yuck on all the misery. I say tonight you take 2 tylenol, 2 benedryl, pee and then go to bed. You should get at least 4 hours of solid restful sleep. Sounds like you need it. Hang in there. 2 weeks of absolute misery sounds like 2 months. Do what you can to distract yourself.