The End of the World As We Know It...

Ladies and Gentlemen...your final belly shot.  Taken Sunday April 19th at around 5:30pm...

This has been a surreal weekend.  It has been filled with special times with my boy, a lot of little odds and ends, and most of all a lot of emotion.  On Saturday night I spent the evening alone with my boy.  That hasn't happened in quite a while.  We had dinner together just the two of us, and then we played with our cars and read some books and just had an amazing evening.  I am so in love with that little boy.  When I put him to bed last night, all of a sudden I was just overcome with emotion.  I was singing him Sunshine and I completely lost it.  Barely made it through the song when the tears arrived.  I pulled it together long enough to get out of his room and then seriously lost it.  I cried for almost an hour.  Why was I crying?  I guess I am not quite sure.  I keep reminding myself that just because I am bringing another child into the house, no one is taking my current child.  It feels like these are the last times I will spend with just him and somehow they will be all lost.  I am trying to remember that I am adding to my family and not taking away from it, but for some reason it feels like my baby is leaving.

Pregnancy hormones are special, let me tell you.  I think this situation also feels more desperate because it has just been The Boy and me for so long.  He is three and a half years old and for all of that time, it has mostly been just the two of us.  The Ex moved out initially when he was 6 months old, and even though she moved back in for almost a year before the final move out, she has really never "engaged" as a parent.  It has been just the two of us for so long.  Mommy and Boy against the world...and tomorrow we add one more.  

My little boy is truly the most special little boy on the planet.  He is sweet and caring and SUCH a good boy who has been SO easy to raise.  I have been so lucky with him.  We have had our challenges, but they have never been behavioral, they have all been health related.  I honestly enjoy every single moment that I spend with this precious little soul.  And I know that I am due.  I am due for the devil child.  The Boy slept through the night at 8 weeks old, The Boy never got into anything so I never even had to "child proof;" I just told him no.  The Boy has had ONE actual tantrum in his entire three years and a total of 4 time outs.  He is a breeze.  And there is simply NO WAY that history is going to repeat itself.  I will love this little girl fiercely but I am pretty sure she is going to challenge me in ways that The Boy never has.  But I am ready to meet her.  I am ready to look into her little eyes and welcome her to our family.  Even if she is a royal pain in the ass, she will be OUR royal pain in the ass and I cannot wait to welcome her to our little family.