Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Christmas Boy and 20 Week Belly

As promised...here is one of the pictures of The Boy that we had done last Friday at our little photo shoot.  I am not yet brave enough to post the picture of myself, so for now you will just have to be satisfied with my little Santa Claus...

He loved that he actually got to sit on a sleigh with a bag of presents behind him.  I have the pictures framed near where we eat dinner every night and each night he talks about how he got to be Santa for the day.  He really is just a joy this holiday season.  Christmas is better with kids (at least for me it has been), but once they get old enough to really understand and appreciate Santa and the stockings and the tree and all the lights etc., it really is amazing.  It takes you back to when you were a kid and it was all fresh and new.  I think sometimes by the time we reach adulthood the holidays become more of a hassle than anything else.  There is the stress of making sure we go to all the different families (those of us from divorced households), and making sure everyone gets along, and who is going to host...I could go on.  But for many years the holidays were the most stressful time of the year for me.  And now?  Well this little red-headed Santa has reminded me of the little things.  He's reminded me of the joy of the season and the purity that comes with that.  It really is a gift to be reminded.

And speaking of that, let's talk about my other "gift" this year.  The little baby growing in my belly.  Now that I am past the evil first trimester from hell, I am settling in to really enjoy this pregnancy.  Second trimesters can do that.  But I am acutely aware of the fact that this will be my last pregnancy, so I am trying to enjoy it all.  My belly is HUGE (as you will see in a moment), but I am cool with that.  It is the last time my stomach will stretch out like this.  The baby is really starting to move and I don't think there is another sensation like that in the world.  Behold my Christmas belly:
Keep in mind that this is only HALFWAY through.  I might pop in half.  Seriously.  I thought I was huge with The Boy, but I swear I am bigger this time around.  Plus, I am not sure if it's because this is supposedly a girl (pending ultrasound on Friday), or if it is because this is a second pregnancy, but man this kid is sitting SO LOW in my belly.  As you can see, my belly goes all the way up to the boobs, but when I feel this baby move around it is practically sitting on my thighs.  I don't remember this with The Boy either.  I remember him being up further.  I was reading my journal with him the other night and around 20 weeks I talked about feeling him around my belly button.  This time she isn't anywhere near my belly button.  I feel her a good 4 inches below that.  Strange...  

Also different this time around is just being busy with The Boy and not being able to relish in each moment.  I am so busy all the time that the only time I really sit down and feel the movements and think about the fact that I am pregnant is after I get into bed at night.  And that last for approximately 15 minutes before I fall asleep (only to wake up an hour later to pee).  The majority of the time I honestly don't even remember that I am pregnant.  That sounds horrible, but it is true.  With The Boy, I was conscious of it all the time and spent so much time with my hand on my belly, feeling him move, and bonding with him.  This time there just isn't time for that luxury.  I have an almost 3 year old who needs my attention as well.  So the quiet little one in my belly has to wait.  But when I feel her kick it instantly makes me smile and stop for a little moment (no matter how quickly) and just try and enjoy it.  There is still a part of me that is in touch with the person that tried to get pregnant for 3 years and couldn't, so to have this amazing thing going on doesn't slip past me.  And I am halfway done.  Halfway done with the last pregnancy I will most likely ever experience.  Makes me want to grab hold of life and just yell, "Slow down!!"  I am trying to take it all in...all these amazing things going on in my family.  My beautiful little boy and my precious little daughter (still can't believe that) making up the family I always dreamed of.  Merry Christmas indeed.

2 comments:

AuntFancy said...

You deserve all the happiness in the world! I can't wait to meet the new little one, as I simply adore the little red-haired one already. :-D

eggdance said...

What a great picture?! And I think you are telling us that you are having a girl-- congrats!!