Saturday, March 13, 2010

That Baby Looks Familiar...

So I saw The Girl's donor Daddy this week. I can't put into words how strange it is to look into his eyes, whom I have only met a handful of times, and see my daughter. Usually it is the other way around. You know an adult in your life and you meet their child and smile mildly at the resemblance between parent and child. But it is so strange when it works the other way around.

Obviously I look at my daughter constantly. I know her little face by heart. So on Wednesday when I saw her Daddy it didn't hit me immediately. I was having a conversation with him and looking into his eyes and just felt like, "You look like someone I know..." and then I realized it was my daughter. She totally has his eyes. And he has great eyes. Her eyes are one of my favorite parts of her face. They are so expressive and wonderful. And when I was talking to him it became apparent exactly where those beautiful eyes came from. I smiled at him and said, "She looks SO much like you." And he smiled and said he was touched. He has four kids of his own from previous marriages he has had and apparently my daughter looks very similar to his daughter that is over 10 years older.

This is such a strange thing yet it is so wonderful at the same time. Every time I talk to her Dad I like him more. He is a wonderful and caring person (obviously considering what he did for me) and each time I spend time with him I know that I made a great decision in picking him for her donor. He has told his children and his family about her. They might all meet this summer. She is really young right now but I think in her future she will love to know that she has some half siblings and people out there who care about who she is and where she came from.

Don't get me wrong. I tried to get pregnant with The Boy for 3 years using frozen sperm so I am not the proponent of known donors. But since my life took this path I tend to think that things happen for a reason. Watching my son, who is 4, really want to know where he came from and who his Daddy is, I am glad that the path we ended up taking allows him to have those answers. He can talk to him on the phone and see him in pictures and really understand and know where he came from. I think it is in innate desire to know our roots. Again, that is not to say that using a frozen sperm or unknown donor is necessarily a bad thing. But look at how my path turned out. I am single and raising these kids on my own. The Ex is a part of The Boy's life but The Girl doesn't have that "second parent." I think being able to know and actually talk to her donor Daddy will be a good thing for her.

Either way this is where we ended up. I am eternally grateful to the two men who helped me to make my family. And when I look into their eyes and see the eyes of my precious children I can't help but think they gave me the greatest give a person can give.

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