It is amazing how much you need something without even knowing you need it.
Tonight I left both of the kids home with my mom and I went out with a friend. We went to a wine bar and had three tastings of wine and then went and had dinner. It is something that is so simple and yet, for some reason, I never seem to make the time to do it.
I can't put into words how wonderful it felt to be out with a friend without my kids. Anyone who reads this blog knows how much I love my kids. But partially because I am a single parent, and partially because I don't have any other babysitters besides family (a subject which was discussed tonight and which will soon be changed), I literally never get out without my kids. My mom helps me so much on a regular basis that I feel horribly guilty to ask her to stay late and watch my kids, you know, some more. So I don't do it.
My friend and I have been trying to make this night out happen since her birthday. Her birthday is January 11th. That's how bad we are. It wasn't all me; she moved and had to reschedule a couple of times too. But man, I just don't think I have given enough credit to how good it feels to take some time out. For me. Even as I sit here pumping away (because my daughter went to bed with a bottle instead of being nursed to bed like usual), I feel like I gave myself the best give I could give. Some time for myself. I really must do this more often.