Welcome 2011

I am a few days late in getting this post out but that's because I was busy trying to start off the new year right. And I think we have done that. If the 25 year old me was able to look into the future and see where I am in my life right now I am sure my response would be something along the lines of, "Really?!?! How BORING!!!" But that suits me just fine right now.

We spent New Year's Eve at home alone just the three of us. We had a great dinner and Mommy got to enjoy a nice(r) couple of glasses of wine than my usual and we were all in bed asleep by around 10:00. See? Totally boring. But you know what? We were all safe in our homes and we all woke up feeling great the next morning. One day my kids will be old enough to understand it all and stay up late and make noise, but until then? We celebrate like we are on the East Coast (at 9:00pm) and watch the ball drop and watch the fireworks and then we head to bed.

On New Year's Day we started the year off with a great day. We had a relaxing morning and then went and had lunch with my BFF and then back to her house to play for a while. We came home and The Girl went right to sleep while The Boy and I took to building him a fort. He has been really into forts lately and I told him since it was a special day we would build him a fort and he could take his nap in there. So we did. Because, after all, what little boy doesn't need to start out the new year with a good fort?

And he took a fabulous nap in said fort while I got some (much needed) work done. And then when they all woke up we had a really nice, relaxing Saturday evening. And guess what? I guess forts are universal for ALL kids because The Girl loved the fort as well. And much to my surprise, The Boy actually enjoyed sharing it with her. They both spent ALL evening (minus dinner time) inside that fort playing together. It was so sweet I almost died. I would hear The Girl say, "I drop my banket..." and then hear The Boy respond, "I will get it for you..." and hear him hop down and then a second later hear, "Tank you" from The Girl. They sang songs and brought his batcave into the fort and all the toys they could muster and sat in it all evening long and had a great time. I mostly left them alone to their sibling time, but I have to admit, I did pop in every once in a while to say hi...and of course to take a picture...
But it was a great start to a new year. I don't have any major resolutions to speak of...I just want to find a balance in my life. I want to continue to love and cherish these two kids I was blessed enough to have, but this year, I want to see if I can find a bit more time for me and MY life (I know...what life?). So that is what I am going to work on. But we are all here and we are all healthy and happy and there's really not much more I can ask for in life right now.

Happy New Year to everyone. May 2011 bring you all that you dream of.

A Great Holiday

Those of you who know me in real life know that there was a bit of drama this holiday season regarding my family and when we were going to celebrate each occasion and with whom. Since I don't really talk about my family on my blog, I will spare you the details but let you in on the important part. I had to fight hard to have one day this holiday where my kids and I were not obligated to go anywhere or do anything. That day turned out to be Christmas Day. And what a wonderful day it was. I am SO glad I went through what I did to be able to have a day at home with my kids.

Of course it really started the moment we got home from the Christmas Eve festivities. The Boy got all ready for bed and then had to leave the cookies and milk for Santa and the carrots for Rudolph... Look at the anticipation on his little face. I swear if I could bottle that magical feeling...

(Note to the future: Perhaps if one's child is going to leave cookies for said "Santa," then perhaps said Mommy should buy some cookies she actually likes. I hate those damn chocolate things...but it was all we had in the house...)

And once the children were all snug in their heads with their visions of sugar plums... Then it was time for me to get to work. Fortunately The Ex and I had a good agreement this year. I paid for all the Santa stuff, but I sent it all home with her in the boxes and made her put it all together. Therefore once the kids were in bed, I went underneath the quilt in my room and found everything ready to be wheeled out. Here is the loot: Stockings for both of course, a Skuut Balance Bike for The Boy, his Bat Cave (the only thing he actually asked Santa for besides flash cards...), a new cradle and new dolly for Peanut, a new shopping cart for her as well, and then a Crayola drawing thing that they will both share...
Note the movie that is on the TV--mandatory for Christmas Eve in my house! And then I had a glass of wine and went to bed. The Boy got up about 7:15am and we texted The Ex (who was coming over for Santa time in the morning--how nice am I?) and while we waited for her The Girl got up and enjoyed her morning milk and then they tore out into the living room at about 7:45am. Not too bad. Of course The Boy LOVED, loved, loved his batcave...
The Girl was a fan of her shopping cart and didn't so much care about her dolly or her cradle, although she has really used and enjoyed both of them since then. I think her favorite gifts would be the shopping cart and this other dolly with a bottle...because apparently it's ALL about the bottle. Who knew?
And as you see in the above picture, The Girl stayed in her jammies all day long. It was fabulous. We had The Ex here until about 10:00 in the morning and then she left and it was just me and the kids until about 2:30 when my mom, step dad and grandmother came over. We had a mellow afternoon and had some good food, but it was SO relaxing and so lovely. I really had a great day. I am so unbelievably lucky to have the kids that I do and the family that I do. I really realized that this holiday season. Perhaps because my 94 year old grandmother is getting up there, or perhaps because I don't have a partner...but for whatever reason, I was eternally grateful to have the life that I do.

And then the next day, instead of being anal-retentive girl and ripping down all of Christmas I had a leisurely morning and took the kids on a walk. It was a great weekend. Exactly what the holidays SHOULD be.
Hope you all had a wonderful weekend as well, however you celebrate. And here's to a great 2011!

Happy Holidays to You!

I am wishing all of my internet friends a wonderful and happy holiday. If you know me in real life and got my Christmas card, just move along. :) But for the friends I know through my blog and the internet, here was the holiday cards that were sent out of my house.

The stockings are all stuffed by the chimney with care and Santa has visited and left all the gifts for the morning. I am enjoying a glass of milk left out by a certain red-headed little boy, finishing up watching A Christmas Story and then heading to bed. I can't wait to wake up with my little ones to watch them enjoy the morning. I hope you are all enjoying a relaxing and wonderful holiday. Merry Christmas to all!

Holy Crap, the 400th Post!

First of all, this is my 400th post! And don't I wish this was going to be some spectacular post worthy of that great number...alas, it's not. I feel so sad for my poor, neglected blog. Not because I kid myself enough to think that my readers (all 10 of you) are sitting at home staring at your computer screen thinking, "I enjoy her posts SO much...I just wish she would post more..." No, I don't think that at all. But the main reason I do this blog at all is for myself and for my kids. And to keep record of this crazy life that seems to be flying by me at a rate faster than I can possibly absorb. So I write it for me, and for my children when they are old enough to read it. And because of that, I am a little sad that I haven't been more diligent in updating during this holiday season. Because this is one of the special ones. It really is. My children will only be young for so long and this is truly the "magical" time. My son is SO taken by the entire season and my daughter is at the most hysterical and sweet age that I could literally eat her up and not get enough. Alas, I have work and I have to prepare for said holiday so that the children CAN enjoy the hell out of it and, as always, there simply aren't enough hours in the day for me to get it all done. And so my record keeping (aka the blog) suffers.

We are a mere 3 days away from THE BIG DAY, as it is known in my house. And everyone is all a flurry of excitement. Unfortunately my clients don't seem to care about that and still want their damn bookkeeping done. It is quite rude actually. And to further that notion, they don't seem to understand that my daughter is out of daycare for 2 entire weeks, thus leaving me with nary of a moment of time to work on said bookkeeping. So I spend the entire day doing a balancing act. As I type away and try and figure out the numbers my daughter follows me around the house telling me it's time to read a book. Add to that the pressure of having all the gifts and stockings (the damn stockings!! Whose idea WAS that anyway?!?! What a waste of time and money...) and food and everything ready for the big day and you have one tired Mommy.

BUT. There are moments. There are moments during each and every single day that I stop for just a millisecond and I smile in my heart. Because these are THE moments. You know? The ones that make it all worthwhile? There are so many of them lately. From my son singing all the Christmas carols he knows while falling asleep at night to my daughter just recently mastering singing Jingle Bell Rock that make me smile. A moment like the other night when I walked down the hall about an hour before bed time and noticed that my son's door was closed. This usually means he has had quite enough of his sister thankyouverymuch and has taken a break. So I walked the house looking for his sister and when I couldn't find her I knocked on his door and entered. What I found was enough to bring tears to my eyes. They were both sitting on his bed leaning against his pillow and he had turned out all the lights but turned on the lights from his little Christmas tree in his room. It was dark except for the light of the tree and they were laying together singing songs. And not only that, but he had gone into her room and gotten her pillow (if I'm being honest it is one of those damn pillow pets that they advertise for all the time--I can't help it! They love the freaking things!) and her lovey for her and they were laying together actually holding hands. I seriously cried. He told me to please shut the door because this was a brother and sister special moment. Of course I shut it immediately and smiled while doing so. THIS is why I had two of them. THIS RIGHT HERE. This bond that they have. These holidays that they are sharing together. The fact that on Christmas morning they will run down the hall TOGETHER to see what Santa brought for them. My son isn't doing it alone. He has a sibling to share it with. And all the drama of getting pregnant and being the single mom who CHOSE (gasp!!) to have another child on my own is all culminated in that very moment. My heart literally bursts with joy.

Of course then I had to continue down the hall because I was in the middle of 15 things and needed to continue. But the point is, I stopped and I DID notice. And even as I try and type this blog entry my son just came barreling down the hall into my office because my time of typing has come to an end. He wants to tell me a story about a ladybug who has small claws on their legs so they can poke holes in the leaves...

Of course the monotony of life is still here and it also exists in my son's everlasting stories about his bugs and his friends...and I can honestly no longer hear myself think because we have now moved on to listening to how his ants in his ant farms dug tunnels so they too could have holes to live in...and dear god I just can't shoo him away. I will go and listen to the end of his story and then I will brush his teeth and put him to bed and then I will go and sit at my computer and work for the next two hours until it is almost 11:00 at night at which time I will stumble to my room, turn on an old rerun of Golden Girls from my DVR and fall asleep before the credits are even done rolling. Thus is my life lately. But as I pointed out earlier, amongst the craziness and work and preparations for the holiday season, there are some super special times. I just wish I had more time to stop and enjoy them and document them here for me to look back on later. Because for some reason this year I am acutely aware of the fact that my kids will not be small forever. They will be sullen teenagers who just await their gifts and skip past the singing of songs and the magic of the season and just sit with their iPods playing in their ears and only stop long enough to rip the paper off their gifts and then go back to their room to enjoy them. I know this is coming. And that is why NOW is so special. And that is why I feel like I need to "bottle" now and be able to look back and remember it.

But for tonight I will just put a little red-headed boy to bed and listen to his stories about bugs and hug him and we will read Twas the Night Before Christmas and I will kiss his little head and then listen to him sing softly on his monitor while I work.

And since you have stuck with me for this long, babbling post...here are some pics. Because of course we all know that's why you really come here anyway, right? The Boy decorating a gingerbread man:

And The Girl when we were picking out our Christmas tree. I don't know how I snapped this picture but it is SO her. The little face, that little expression...just totally my daughter. Love her so much...
Happy Holidays everyone. May you all be enjoying it as much as I am!

This Moment

A Friday ritual that I am copying from Finding Chaos, who got it from SouleMama.

A single photo– no words – capturing a moment from the week.
A simple, special, extraordinary moment.
A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

'Tis the Season

In my family we celebrate Christmas. And it is such a different time as an adult than it is as a child. And thank God right? It is such a magical time for kids. And I think part of our jobs as parents is to attempt to give that type of a feeling to our children. But I think for a lot of adults in general, Christmas and the holidays in general isn’t anywhere near as amazing as it was when you were a child. And part of that is because you are trying to give your children that magical experience and the magic doesn’t just come out of nowhere does it?

We work hard as parents to create the perfect holiday moments. But the moments with our children when they are young and impressionable and sweet during the holidays are amongst the best. Seeing their little faces when they walk down the hall and see a full stocking that Santa filled for them? And then the look of pure amazement on their faces when they see the almost-completely-gone cookies and milk they left out the night before for Santa and you can practically hear them thinking, “He was actually HERE last night.” It really is a magical time for them. And, I think, for us as parents. This is what we work for all year long. Not necessarily the gifts, because although seeing the kids open and enjoy those gifts is fabulous, it’s the whole “Santa coming to visit” thing that makes it all spectacular. I remember feeling like that as a kid too. I remember going outside of my grandmother’s house at like 8:00 at night and looking up in the sky and seeing (what was probably the lights of an airplane) Santa and the reindeer flying and just knowing that it was Santa. And that feeling of joy that comes with it. Not only gifts, but gifts from Santa!!, which of course was different than gifts from my parents. They were the special ones. Parents gave stuff like underwear and clothes and stuff, but the stuff that came from Santa was always awesome. Somehow he knew exactly which present would be your favorite and it always came from him. Funny how that happens.

All of this to say that this time when the kids are young and they feel this way goes so fast. My son will be 5 in January and he is still firmly in the magical kingdom. But when talking to my Mom about plans for the early morning she said, “You know it won’t always be like this.” In a few years he will know and it will be different. And then it will be that way for The Girl for as long as her brother keeps his mouth shut…and then it is just different.” And she’s right. I hadn’t thought of that. I guess I just thought it would always be like this. But I don’t know how many more years I have of this innocence and love and pure joy. I want to live it while it’s here.

The other day in the car we were listening to Christmas music. And for the first time this season my son heard the song “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” and he thought it was great. We talked about how it was a silly song and we laughed and listened to it again. One the second listen through my son was trying to sing along with the chorus and suddenly he stopped singing and said, “What do they mean ‘there’s no such thing as Santa…” ? Why would they say that?” Cause you know that’s part of the chorus. Sing it for a minute in your head…I’ll wait…

Right? So of course my little OCD son picks up on that. I proceeded to tell him that it was just part of the silly song. Of course Grandma wouldn’t get run over by a reindeer! And of course there’ such a thing as Santa!” Silly song!!

But how much longer do we get to believe that?

Halloween--All of It

And when you have young kids...there is A LOT of Halloween to be had. But this year was all good. The Boy is old enough to really get it and he was SO excited. He picked out his costume really early on (good thing too since his Mom had to make it...) and watched his pumpkin grow in his backyard and couldn't wait until we could put up the Spider webs in front of the house.

First thing was his school field trip. I was sorta put off by the fact that they wanted the kids to go over an hour away. I was like, What the hell, there are hundreds of pumpkin patches within 15 minutes of where we live... But it turns out I shouldn't have been such a scrooge. It wasn't even so much a pumpkin patch as there was no large area with hundreds of pumpkins. It was a little tour that included picking out a pumpkin. But we started the day in a giant tee pee listening to stories, then we went and got to pick a pumpkin. Here is The Boy with his pick:

And here is The Girl with her pick. She picked a good pumpkin and remembered to smile for the picture, she just forgot to open her eyes...
And after that we went to "Mine for gold." It was actually really cool. They gave all the kids a bag of sand and they had to sift through it to find a bunch of little rocks and stones. The Boy was ALL about this part. It thought I uploaded a picture of his with this but I guess I didn't and there are far too many pictures in this post to try and go back and do it now. But just trust me. This was his favorite part of the day. In fact after the mining for gold we went and had a little snack. All the other kids were scarfing on popcorn but my son said no thank you to any popcorn and instead spread out his napkin in front of him so he could sort his rocks into like piles. Like I have said before...gotta love my little nerd.

Then after the snack we got to ride on a little train that went around the entire property. It was like a 20 minute ride and both kids loved it. The Girl went a little bit postal at first when I told her she had to sit next to me and couldn't climb around all crazy (they were just little seats...there really wasn't any sort of enclosure to hold her in place...) until the train started moving and she understood. She is still talking about the "choo choo twain..."

After that we headed over to the carousel. Guess who took one look at it and decided he wasn't interested?
And guess who pointed furiously and said, "I want it...I want it..."?
After that we went on a big corn maze thing and then went and had a nice picnic lunch. Like I said, it was a long drive to get there but in the end it was great. The Boy had a great time with his friends and his sister had a blast too. It was a really nice day. I'll try and remember that next year when I get the attitude...

Then it was time for THE EVENT. I can't remember how much I have posted about this here but way back in spring, on one of the Saturdays The Ex had The Boy she asked me if she could plant some seeds with him in the backyard. I said sure and then came home to find she had planted watermelons, corn, peas and pumpkins in a tiny little space on my side yard. I don't know a whole lot about gardening, but I do know that the things she picked are things that like to spread the hell out. Watermelons go EVERYWHERE. And so do peas and of course the pumpkins. The corn at least just goes up. So while I appreciated the concept of planting with our kid, I was was less than enthused at her choice of veggies.

Fast forward months later and the watermelon never grew (funny how that happens when a certain Mommy doesn't "remember" to water that particular plant...), the corn had grown and been eaten and pulled out, the peas had grown and produced enough peas to make the boy happy and then had been killed by the GINORMOUS pumpkin plant that took over my entire side yard and was trying to move into the regular backyard. I bitched and bitched about this plant constantly. I told The Ex she had to get rid of it...I took clippers and cut the hell out of the thing several times. Until one day I noticed a small pumpkin growing near the back door. It continued to grow (and it was the only one) amongst an insane amount of vines and leaves. Anyway, about three weeks ago we took the pumpkin out of the "garden" (HA!) and it has been sitting on the front porch. Well last week The Ex came over and carved it for The Boy. He was SO excited. It actually was quite big. Again, this post is ridiculously long enough but I could post pictures of the plant and the pumpkin itself but I will spare you all.

The pumpkin that he himself grew from a seed had made it into a full-fledged pumpkin and was now carved into his latest obsession: bats. He couldn't have been more thrilled. Here is the finished product...
After all that it was time for The Boy's Halloween Parade at school, which I have already posted about... Then it was time for THE BIG DAY!!

The Boy started asking if he could trick or treat at about 7:15am. Sigh...loooooonnngg day... Anyway, we decided to start out the evening at the gay boyfriends' house. They decorate their house all up so we took the kids and headed over. The Boy didn't wear his costume cause he can't ride in the car with it (kinda hard to fit in a car seat with a tail...), but The Girl was ALL decked out in hers. My daughter was The Cat in the Hat. And she couldn't have been happier about it. It is one of her favorite shows on right now and was so excited to put it on. She even tolerated the hat for a little while. Here she is running around the backyard of the boyfriends' house...
After we had a little snack there (kids AND adults; my mom and grandmother came with us to their house) we went over to my brother's house for the trick or treating. They have a great neighborhood so we have been going there for the past few years. Here is The Boy all dressed up and ready to hit the streets!
And again, here is his crazy sister playing peek a boo with her hat... (We all know I am pretty damn cynical, but my daughter playing peek with her hat? Perhaps one of the cutest things I have witnessed in my entire life...)
There are a ton more pictures but they all have a bunch of kids in them so you will just have to take my word when I tell you that they both had a grand time. My daughter, although she is a mere 18 months old, quickly got into the groove of things. She would march up to the doors with her brother and cousins and yell "tick teet!" and then run away before actually getting any candy. She thought it was hysterical. I had brought the umbrella stroller because, well...she's 18 months old and it was late..., and she wanted NO part in that. She walked the entire way (except for a few times when I picked her up because she wasn't moving fast enough). Her brother, true to character, after about the third block asked me if HE could sit in the stroller if his sister wasn't going to. So my almost-5-year-old rode in the stroller while his 18-month-old sister walked the entire way. Gotta love them.

And finally...here is a picture of the one time The Girl actually remembered to get candy before she ran off again...
As my 93 year old grandmother would say... "A good time was had by all."