Remember to Breathe...

First of all thank you to all that sent suggestions on my night time dilemma. It sounds as though the consensus seems to be to have The Girl go to bed first and basically alter her night time routine so that she learns how to go to bed without the world having to stop and be quiet for her. I agree with this concept although I will admit that I do enjoy my quiet, alone time with her at night. So it is probably more my enjoying that time than her insisting on it being that way. The thought of feeding her amongst the chaos and then dumping her in bed while doing fifty different things makes me a little bit sad. (From the time the kids get home from daycare until the time they are both in bed I am literally running around trying to take care of dinner, bath time, jammies, teeth brushing, etc...) I love our time at night where it is dark and quiet and we can nurse and look into each other's eyes and then sit in the rocking chair and rock quietly until her eyes get heavy and I carry her down the hall to her room. But, like you all pointed out, she needs more sleep than The Boy (to clarify she does get way more sleep than him because after she gets up at 6:30am to nurse she continues to sleep in my bed for at least a couple more hours...) and should probably go to bed before him. So I will do what's best for my baby but I can't promise I won't pout about it.

The Boy goes in for surgery on his thumb on Monday. If you see me on the street and ask me about it I will answer very casually and tell you that it is a very routine surgery and he will only be under for about a half an hour. I will tell you that I had it done when I was three and I was fine and that this situation is much less scary than the last time he had to be put under (for a brain MRI to make sure his brain was okay). I will puff out my chest and tell you no biggie and that I will be strong for my little dude and that really, it is no big deal!!! But the truth of the matter is...

THEY'RE PUTTING MAH BAAAYYYBBEEEE TO SLEEP AND HE HAS TO HAVE SURGERY!!!

Okay now that I got that out I feel better. I don't care who you are or what the circumstance is, if they are taking your small child into surgery it is scary and it is shitty. I WILL be strong for him and in front of him I will continue to tell him that it is no big deal and that they are just going to fix his "stuck" thumb. I will point out that the cast he is getting is going to be red so it will be just like he is Spiderman with a web-shooter on his wrist. I will tell him that he will drink some yummy juice and then lay with Mommy and take a little rest in the doctor's office and when he wakes up Mommy will be right there waiting with him and his thumb will feel all better and best of all, he has a big bandage he can show all his friends at school. And I will keep up with that brave thought and concept until they take him away from me and I have to go out into the waiting room and wait by myself (Mom is taking care of The Girl until it is late enough to take her to daycare, then she will be coming to the Surgery Center) and then promptly lose my shit.

I am good at being tough before and during the fact but after we get home and probably when he goes down for his nap on Monday afternoon it will all come flooding out. I will let it all go. But not until then. Until then I am the picture of strength. The Boy and I have been through worse than this. No big deal. Piece of cake. We can handle this. He and I can get through anything. (She says with a forced smile on her face as the tears well up behind her eyes...)

Here is the before picture of his "stuck" thumb. I will make sure to post an after shot of his cool cast when we get home on Monday.