So Unbelievably Screwed...

So I just got back from my blood pressure check at my OB's office.  Not good news.  In fact pretty much the opposite of good news.  My blood pressure was like 157 over 101.  Really not good.  I have been taking it here at home (I have a cuff thing) and it has been in the range of like 135-140 over 85-90.  Still not great, but definitely not what it was at my doctor's office.  I tried to tell them that I must have just been nervous for my appointment because it hasn't been that high all week long, and I have been taking it...  They didn't so much want to hear that.  My lovely nurse was even bypassed by my doctor who came to the door of my room with a very stern look on her face.  She said the words I was dreading hearing...  "No more work..."  She said a bunch of thing after that, but I really didn't hear them.

I am so unbelievably screwed by this.  I have said it before but it bears repeating.  I am self employed.  No more work means no more income.  Not disability, not anything.  Income STOPS.  I am 29 weeks pregnant.  Holy shit.  In addition to that, my biggest client that has been selling off all the properties?  The one I blogged about a little while ago?  Well once all the properties had been sold and I was able to close down the books for those properties, they were going to give me a bonus.  That bonus is what was going to pay for my maternity leave.  That bonus would have given me the monetary equivalent of working for approximately 3 months.  If I can't close down the books I don't know if I get the bonus.  Without the bonus, I literally have NO money to take ANY time off.  Not three months, not anything.  And even if I somehow manage to close the books from home and get the bonus?  Well that gives me three months.  Three months from now puts me at about 2 weeks past when this baby is due.  I am having a c-section.  That isn't even enough time to recover, much less get ANY sort of maternity leave with my new child.  So screwed...

So this is what is happening as of right now.  My doctors know I live alone with The Boy and as of now that doesn't need to change.  I am still allowed to take care of him; I can still cook and clean and pick him up etc...  I can drive him to and from school etc...  My rules as of today are that I have to quit work completely (although nurse wonderful did say that I could work from home as long as I work within the boundaries they have given me), I have to be completely horizontal for 2 hours in the morning and 2 hours in the afternoon.  Other than that I can function.  I have a massage scheduled this afternoon for 3:00 (yay!) and I am still allowed to go to that.  I can still grocery shop and deal with life as long as I am not going into work and I am doing the two hour thing.  They also put me on an anti hypertension medication (haven't even had time to google obsessively how that is going to effect my baby) which should help.  My doctor told me that we have to at least get me to 32 weeks.  Ummm....no.  You need to get me a lot further than that!  

Okay that is my update.  I have to go have my mental breakdown now.  I will update again later.