Monday, September 1, 2008

Back from the mountains

My family has a cabin up in the mountains where we have gone since I was 2 years old.  I headed up there this weekend with The Boy, The gay boyfriends and The Ex.  It was amazing, as usual.  This place is truly my "happy place."  I feel so rejuvinated when I am up there.  The air, the smells, the river that runs outside my cabin door, and the beauty all come together and really make me feel whole again.  It is a long drive to get there, but once arrived it worth every single minute.  I learned some things this weekend.

I am very thankful that my relationship with The Ex allows us to continue to take family vacations together.  Our boy was SO excited to have "two Moms!  Two Moms!" with him the whole weekend.  He went back and forth between us sharing all of the amazing things he was doing.  And honestly?  I really needed the help.  It can be an exhausting adventure to do by yourself.  The gay boyfriends are lovely, but really don't understand the concept of being early on in a pregnancy and therefore needing some extra time to sit and relax, and also the need to not have to schlep heavy suitcases and coolers up and down the stairs.  She was helpful both with physical things, as well as with entertainment of our son.  It made the weekend MUCH more relaxing for me.

Being the only sober person kinda sucks.  Yes, I understand that I am growing a life and that is a MUCH more important job than having a couple of glasses of wine.  But I am not sure if I have ever been up to my cabin as an adult and done it totally sober all night long.  Like I said, it wasn't so much that I was missing getting shit faced, but I kind of realized that the "fun" evening times aren't quite as fun when you are stone cold sober.  The things that usually seem hysterical weren't quite as funny.  So I spent most of my evenings relaxing on the couch reading a book.

Pregnancy hormones are a bitch.  Man, was I hormonal.  I probably cried like 3 times while we were there.  And not over anything.  Just being overwhelmed with emotion.  As I said, I have been going up there since I was 2 years old and there have been a ton of good times, but also some not so good times (like during my parent's divorce).  It was interesting to me that on this particular trip, I was in touch with some of the not-so-pleasant moments that occurred there.  I guess because I now have my own family, I am adamant about making sure that my boy does not endure some of the things that I did growing up.  And so far he hasn't.  Even though his parents have gone through a divorce and split up, he is still able to go away for a weekend with both of us and know how much we both love him.

But the biggest thing that I learned was about my little boy.  What an amazing child he is.  As I have mentioned here, this is not a daring child.  In fact, he could possibly be titled the most tentative child in history.  But up at my cabin?  TOTALLY my boy.  He had absolutely no fear whatsoever about all things nature.  He walked right into the rushing river.  He stood up to his ankles in the freezing cold water and threw rocks with a joy on his face like I have never seen before.  He hiked up and down the large hills and traversed the terrain like a champ.  He hiked around the lakes, and up and down the hills like he had been doing it his whole life.  He is truly a nature boy.  I really cannot explain the emotion that I felt when I watched my little boy do the exact same things that I had done as a kid.  And he did them in the exact same places that I had done that.  The sense of family and generations was overwhelming.  I am so thankful for my grandparents to build a cabin for us to grow up in.  But now, to have my son experiencing the same things that I did as a little girl, well it is almost too much for me to handle.  I don't feel like I am able to express the feelings properly, but just understand that this was one of the most amazing things I have ever experienced in my entire life.

Pictured above, The Boy enjoying mountain-y goodness...

No comments: