Conversations With My Daughter

In the car driving home from daycare...

Peanut: "Mommy, I want da book!! Gimme the book!!"

Mommy: "Which book? The Curious George book? The bunny book?"

Peanut: "Yes Mommy"

I reach around and grab the book off the floor and hand it to her.

Peanut: "NO WANT DA BOOK!!" Throws book on the floor.

Continue driving for a couple more minutes...

Peanut: "Mommy, I want da monkey...I want da ooh, ooh, aah, aah..."

Reach around, again, and grab the monkey out of the back of my seat and hand it to her while stopped at a red light, "Here you go Peanut."

Peanut: "NO MONKEY! NO WANT IT!" And then she proceeded to throw said monkey onto the floor of the car.

I just sort of shake my head like 'whatever psycho girl...' Continue driving...

Peanut: "Mommy...I WANT the monkey! Gimme the monkey!"

Mommy: "No. I just gave it to you and you threw it on the floor. You shouldn't have thrown it on the floor if you wanted it."

Peanut: "But I WANT it the monkey. Gimme the monkey!!"

Mommy: "No [Girl]. You threw the monkey down after Mommy handed it to you so you are done with the monkey. No more monkey."

Approximately every 10 seconds as we continue to drive home...

Peanut: "I want to have the monkey...give me the monkey...I want the monkey Mommy...Mommy want the monkey..." and so on and so on and so on...until it makes you want to poke your eyes out and I contemplate driving into the upcoming intersection just to make the noise stop.**

Finally, Mommy: "Fine [Girl]. I will give you back the monkey but you have to say please."

Crickets

...and then repeat the above over and over again. However the word "please" is missing from the request every single time.

I repeat again, "I will be happy to give you the monkey but you have to use your manners. Say please give me the monkey and I will give it to you."

Crickets...and then about a minute later...

Peanut: "Mommy I want London Bridges." (The first song on her play list on the iPod; we had the music off up until that point).

Mommy: "No problem. Just use your manners and ask nicely. Say 'please Mommy, London Bridges'."

Silence...and then in the teeniest, tiniest of voices I hear in barely a whisper...(keep in mind she was practically shouting this whole time so she made a very conscious change of the level of her voice)

Peanut: "Peez."

I turned around to look at her because, quite honestly, I could barely hear what she said and we were sitting at a light, "What did you say honey?"

And she gave me a shit-eating grin and turned her head and looked out the window. Refused to make eye contact. Refused to say it again.

So we drove home the rest of the way in silence. No monkey. No London Bridges. And when we pulled up to the house, she refused to get out of the car. So I unpacked my stuff, left her in the car in the garage for about 5 minutes before getting her and dragging her out of the car and into the house where she proceeded to flop herself down on the floor in the entry way and lay there for another 10 minutes throwing a fit.

Did I mention she turns 2 in less than a month? How many of you all want to come visit my house? Come on...you know you want to...it's FUN over here... ...Anyone? Bueller?

**Kidding... ...sort of.