Thursday, March 31, 2011
Regarding yesterday's post: Thank you all for your kind comments and emails. It means a lot to know I am not the only person who has ever thought or struggled with these issues. That being said. Today was a better day. My mom was right (she usually is...), and I had let the situations of the past few months (work hell, computers crashing, The Boy's OT issues, money and overall everyday life stresses) catch up with me and they were making everything seem overwhelming. Now I am not saying that everything is going to change overnight and I am suddenly going to become Mary Poppins with a life full of rainbows and sunshine. But what I will say is that sometimes it takes someone you trust and care about to point out things we need to work on. And I need to work on this. I am (thankfully) not depressed. I have an amazing life. And yes, there are certainly stressful moments. But I need to be more mindful about being in the moment, rather than feeling like the moments of several months are all bundled together being carried on my back. I had a different mind set tonight. And I enjoyed my kids. I got through the evening and, while there were certainly stressful moments (and I don't expect those will ever go away), overall I stayed in the moment and had a MUCH better night. I am going to continue to work on this and try and get to some sort of a happy medium. Because my mom is right. These ARE the best times of my life. My kids are only going to be young and sweet and cuddly for so long. And while the stresses of being involved in poops and tantrums may fade away, in their place will be homework and school stresses and eventually the evil teenage horrors. I can almost guarantee that in 10 years, when my kids are 15 and 12, I will long for the days when my biggest issue used to be cleaning poop out of a drain and dealing with someone throwing a fit about their crayons being taken away. One day at a time. But today? Today was a good day.