It's Officially Over

I just got back from my 6 week follow up appointment.  There's something about that appointment that is just so...FINAL.  I mean, that's it.  I no longer see those people.  These women that I saw every three days for so many months and who helped me through one of the toughest times of my life, I no longer go and see them.  That's it.  You're good.  See you in a year.  I'm a little bit sad.  I feel used and left behind...  :)

But seriously, even if I didn't have a little mini-crush on nurse fabulous, it is kinda weird to just be done.  I know, I know...I had the damn baby.  That was their entire point in my life, but still.  Okay, I will get over it.  But I would like to go on record as saying that I will miss my OB's office and all the fabulous people there who took such good care of me and had a HUGE part in getting my daughter here healthy.  So thanks.

In terms of my body and such, things are back to normal.  Uterus was where it was supposed to be (which I had to find out through a very unfortunate pelvic exam...).  And fortunately the ONE thing I am apparently good at with pregnancy is getting back to "normal" afterwards.  I hesitated to post about this because there are lots of women who will probably hate me, but I was back at my pre-pregnancy weight when The Girl was about 3 weeks old (but in my defense I only gained about 20 pounds total).  I have been back in all of my old clothes for about 2 weeks probably.  In fact last weekend I completely went through my wardrobe and purged all things maternity.  And man, did that feel good.  As history shows, I am not good at pregnancy and I am thrilled to be done with it.  And take those damn clothes with you!  Bring back my jeans.  Bring back my regular clothes.  Thank the lord that is over.

The one lovely thing that stayed with me after having this baby was the high blood pressure.  It went back down after The Boy was born, but not so much this time.  It isn't horrifically high, but it is high enough that they want me to stay on medication.  Which does NOT thrill me.  I was so happy to be off of all medications (I was on anti depressants prior to getting pregnant with The Girl) and I really wanted to rock that feeling for a while.  But it was not in the cards.  Apparently being medication free isn't better when there is a possibility of having a stroke and dying with young children.  So I am on the damn blood pressure medication.  I have only been taking it once a day instead of twice a day like when I was pregnant and I was told today that I need to up it back up to twice a day.  I batted my eyelashes and tried to look cute and begged and pleaded, but they didn't so much care.  Take the damn pills.  Twice a day. 

Fine.  You win.  I will take the damn pills.

My friend sent me pictures today from my shower/brunch with good friends.  It was bizarre to see myself so huge and pregnant.  It took me back to see those pics.  Those pictures were taken during the roughest weekend of that entire end-of-pregnancy drama.  And it sure made me happy to be sitting where I am sitting now.  I have a healthy daughter who is 6 weeks old.  And even though she has been a crying fool lately, it is still one thousand times better than where I was back then.

So thank you 6 week follow up for the finality.  Thank you for reminding me that I don't ever want to go through that again.  And thank you for letting me say goodbye to the women who took such great care of me, and who I genuinely like.  And thank you for allowing the best possible outcome of a healthy little girl.  The last 10 months were quite a journey.  And I am glad to be done with it and moving on to the next journey of raising two young kids by myself.

Here's a flashback photo of me right before I gave birth:

And here's a photo of the lovely outcome.  My mother told me that the last pictures I posted of her (you know the one in the "cutielicious" onesie with the white skirt?) made her look HUGE and ROUND and very unattractive.  She said I should screen the photos before I put them out there for the world to see.  So I tried to scroll through all of my pics of her to find one that was flattering to her.  It's hard to take a flattering picture of a newborn baby.  But I decided that given the nature of this post and that I am comparing this picture to the picture of her still inside my belly, I would go au natural and give you a bath shot.  I think it's only appropriate...

Sleep

I can't believe it.

My daughter slept for 7 hours last night.

I woke up thinking she was dead...

She went down at about 11:00pm.  I woke up a couple of times throughout the night convinced she would be up any minutes but kept going back to sleep siting that whole, "Don't wake a sleeping baby" thing.

At 5:45am I heard, "Mommy!!  Mommy!!"

That's the wrong child, I thought.

The Boy was up but The Girl still wasn't.

I ran into her room at 6:00am and ripped her out of her swing and un-swaddled her.  She was breathing (and looking at me like I was crazy) but still sound asleep.  She would have slept longer if I hadn't busted in there.  She had a clean diaper as well, so I was convinced all of her systems had shut down for the night.

But now, almost 4 hours later I am happy to report that she has eaten twice, pooped and peed.  So all systems seem to be a go.  I have been told that once a baby reaches 11 pounds they are physically able to go 8 hours without eating.  I guess it is possible that my little porker could be 11 pounds, but man...it still feels like she is too young for this.  I am sure it was a fluke thing and this won't continue to happen every night, but still.  She will be 6 weeks old tomorrow.  She's an overachiever my little peanut.

10 Things I Couldn't Live Without (Part 2)

Thank you for returning for Part 2 of the things that helped me survive the first weeks of parenting a newborn.  Without any further mumbo-jumbo, I will go right back into my list.

• I did a post a few days ago on The Five S's.  One of those is swaddling.  When you have your baby, your nurses at the hospital will make that whole swaddling thing look so easy.  Then you will get home and realize that without the nurses, or those old hospital blankets, your child has somehow gained the ability to break out of every single swaddle that you manage to put them in.  The Swaddle Blanket saves the day.  There are lots of brands of these out there, but I prefer this one.  Reason being is that it doesn't take a website to teach you how to make it work, and I like the velcro.  It is easy, just a couple of steps to get them in there, and with the velcro, they aren't going anywhere.  It also comes in different fabrics.  I have one in fleece for when it was cold, but also a couple in really light cotton for now, when it is warmer at night.
• I have also mentioned this one before, but I seriously would not be able to survive without Babies Bliss Gripe Water.  It is an all natural liquid that helps soothe upset tummies.  It works for gas, and general tummy upset, and apparently also teething (although I never used it for that purpose...).  You can give it to your kiddo directly out of the bottle (but be prepared for some gagging and angry faces--it tastes like black licorice), or else you can mix it into either a bottle of formula or breast milk.  I pump every other day just so that I always have about 2 ounces of breast milk in the fridge to use to mix with this stuff.  My baby HATES the taste of it, but will happily gulp it down when mixed with about 15-20 cc's of breast milk (about half an ounce).  Get it.  And give it to your kid every 4 hours.  You can thank me later.  :)
• This next item is something I am sure you have heard from anyone who has ever been a parent.  You need to have lots of plain ol' diaper rags.  The old school kind that our parents actually used to diaper our butts.  And when your parents come over they will look at them with nostalgia and tell you all about how they used to have to use these for pee and poop and use A PIN to put and hold them on and wash them out in the sink and...  well you get the idea.  But for our 2009 purposes, they are great for spit up, to throw over your shoulder when burping, for laying under the baby during tummy time (they always barf a little during tummy time, don't they?) and for ten thousand other little uses.  I am still using the ones I bought with The Boy for wiping his nose when he gets a cold so he doesn't get the red-kleenex nose, and for dusting his room etc.  You can never have too many nor will you ever tire of coming up with little ways to use them.  They rule.
• I hesitated to put this next thing on this list because it really does vary with each baby.  But this is my list and I am talking about my kid so...here it is.  You really need a swing.  There are TONS of different kinds of swings, and if your baby ends up to be a swing baby, then I doubt it matters which kind of swing you have; just that you have one.  Again, The Five S's state that swinging or swaying your baby helps.  I use it when I would like to sit the hell down after standing and swinging/swaying a baby for hours.  I also use it for sleep at night.  I used ours for The Boy and now for The Girl.  They both slept in it.  I personally use this little travel swing because then I can bring it with me from room to room with little trouble.  I use it out in the living room during the day and then move it back into her room at night.  This goes along with The Five S's, but it has been a must have for us.

So those are my 10 Things that I can't live without.  I am going to recommend two other items that have been really helpful, although I wouldn't say they qualify as "can't live without."  The first one is this fabulous baby monitor.  It is a video monitor like I have with The Boy but this is the new version of it.  It has great color and it also has zoom!  You can move it around the room from the handheld portion of it, which is just cool.  It is quite expensive (I used a gift card to Target from one of my clients), but you will use it forever (I am still using the one we bought for The Boy and he is three and a half...) and is definitely worth the investment.

The other recommendation is a white noise machine.  Again, this goes along with The Five S's concept.  But The Boy used it forever, and now it seems to be great with The Girl.  She sleeps much better on the nights that I put her in her room and turn that on.  Again, I wouldn't categorize this as "can't live without," but it is a nice thing to have.  This is the one I have and it has lots of different noises on it.  The Boy loved the water one, but so far with The Girl I have just used the "white noise" portion.

Okay, hope for any of you out there that are expecting or hope to expect in the future that this list has helped.  All of these things have made the first 6 weeks of my daughter's life much easier to deal with.  And now, since you made it through the end of this post, as a reward, I have some pictures.  First, the "don't bother me, I'm trying to sleep" pose...

And finally, my big baby girl in her bath tub.  She is staring at the faucet, which is apparently much more exciting than looking at Mommy.  
Thanks for reading!

10 Things I Couldn't Live Without (Part 1)

The little Peanut has been in my life for almost 6 weeks now.  In that time there are several things that I simply could not have lived without.  For those of you who read my blog who are either expecting now, or who hope to expect in the future, I thought I would give you a list.  Being a parent of a newborn is hard.  No question about it.  But these 10 things made it a little bit easier for me.

• The My Brest Friend nursing pillow.  Some people prefer the Boppy.  You simply must have one of these.  After trying both of them out and actually using them both, I would say that I prefer the Brest Friend.  I like that it attaches on to me physically and I like that it has the little bumps where the baby's head lies.  It is a breast feeding must.
• Comfort Gel Boobie pads.  For sore nipples and boobies, these are a MUST!  One of my nurses told me about them in the hospital and they are a life saver.  One package contains two sets of pads.  Each set of pads lasts about a week.  In between uses you can store them in the fridge so when you put them back on...pure bliss.  Seriously.  These things saved my life.  Last time I ended up with cracked nipples with blood blisters.  This time?  Not at all.  I think it is thanks to this product.  Definitely a must have.  (Tip: search around on the internet.  The price varies greatly on this product.  The link I provided is where I found them cheapest but that may have changed recently...)
• Nursing bras.  Okay so these are very particular to each person depending on what type of bra you usually wear.  I have rather large girls (When not pregnant I wear a D cup) but I prefer to NOT have underwires.  So this bra is perfect for me.  Medela has a ton of different bras and styles and I would recommend checking them out.  They also have this fabulous one for sleeping that I use every single night.  Shop around, but definitely make sure you get a nursing bra that works for you.
• I don't know about your baby, but my baby?  She poops.  A LOT.  Like sometimes I am not sure if it is normal to poop this much a lot.  And her poop?  Well it is bright orange.  And half the time it tends to shoot out the side of her diaper.  So the next few things address this particular issue.  The first thing you must have are puddle pads.  Believe it or not, these things are relatively hard to find.  I have only found them at Babies R Us and wish I had bought a lot more.  I put one on the changing table to catch any run-a-way poops or pees, I put one under her in her bassinet for when she blows out while she's sleeping, and when she's laying on the floor play mat, I put one under there.  These are a lot easier to clean than whatever item she is laying on.  And she will poop out of her clothes and onto whatever she's laying on.  It's a given.  Trust me.
• My next item is also in relation to poop.  Like I said above, my daughter poops all the god damned time.  And because of this, her poor little butt gets trashed.  Anything that has to sit with that much poop on it all the time would.  And I change her whenever I hear her poop, or every single time I feed her (which is every two to three hours), so she gets changed frequently.  Anyway, each diaper change I load her butt up with Aquaphor.  It isn't as hard-core as something like a Desitin (which I did use when after a particularly rough couple of days she looked like it was getting worse...) or an actual treatment for diaper rash, but it does help.  Without that, her poor butt would be toast.
• The last item on the poop subject is a random one.  When the little peanut poops out of her diaper onto her clothes, you wouldn't believe how tough it is to get that shit (pun intended) off without leaving a stain.  First of all, get it to the sink...quick!  If it dries, you're screwed.  But if you rinse it relatively quick, it should come out.  I use this dishwashing soap on it and run it under cold water and scrub.  That seems to get it out every time.  I am sure there are other methods, but without this, I would be ending up with a lot of stains on a lot of very cute clothes.

I am going to pause here and publish this post now and finish it tomorrow.  This is ending up to be a much longer post than I had originally intended, so I will split it into two posts.  For now, I will leave you with a picture of my little peanut.  Notice how chubby she is getting.  Look at the rolls on the arms.  And those cheeks...oh man, those cheeks.  I could just NOM on them all damn day long...  (part two coming soon...)

Works for Us!!

As I have mentioned, The Girl has a fussy time every night.  It is usually from about 6:00pm until around 11:00pm.  It isn't horrible...  I wouldn't call her colicky or anything, but basically she wants to be held.  If she isn't being held, she is usually fussing and then all out crying.  My mom and step dad are still coming over every night and having dinner here so that has been my saving grace.  If they weren't doing that, it would be rough.

Even so, they usually leave by around 7:30 and I have to get The Boy into bed and deal with The Girl until I go to bed for the evening.  Most nights The Girl is crying as I brush teeth and read books and sing songs with The Boy.  I refuse to alter his night time routine so if she has to fuss a little while The Boy gets his Mommy time before bed, so be it.

I was complaining about this to a friend who reminded me about The 5 S's.  I vaguely remembered about it from when The Boy was little so I went out and bought the book yesterday.  The book I am talking about is "Happiest Baby on the Block" by Harvey Karp.

**Here is where I post my disclaimer:  There are SO many different parenting books out there and each and every baby is different.  So while one might work great for one person, it could be a horrible thing for another.  So please understand that I am only expressing what works for my baby and am not judging anyone who think this book is a crock of shit, or who simply knows that another book is better...

Anyway, I refreshed myself briefly with this book and remembered why I liked it so much.  Then last night as I was bouncing around a fussy baby and wishing I could put her down so that I could fold a load of laundry and write a thank you note...I remembered the book and gave it a shot.  I won't go into loads of detail here, but the idea is that for babies under 3 months old, they are most comfortable when you imitate how they felt when they were in your womb.  The Five S's are:

• Swaddling
• Sucking
• Side/Stomach laying
• Shushing
• Swinging/swaying

I have done all of these things individually to some degree of success with her over the past 5 weeks.  But this book reminds you to combine as many of these as possible for success.  At about 9:45pm I decided to try it.  First thing I did was swaddle her (I did this for the first couple of weeks when she came home and then it became apparent she HATED when her arms were restrained so we sorta gave it up).  Then I picked her up and held her in my arms while making sure she was on her side.  Then I started swaying and rocking her back and forth.  Finally I gently "shushed" in her ear.  (I left out the sucking part because frankly, she didn't need it, and really she isn't a big fan of the pacifier at this point).

I am not exaggerating when I say that she quieted down immediately and within 2 minutes her eyes were droopy and within 5 minutes she was asleep.  Seriously.  She had been fussing since around 6:30 and within 5 minutes was calm and asleep.  Of course I made sure she was full (she ate from about 9:00 until like 9:20) and her diaper was changed before I did any of this.  But I didn't even put her into her jammies because I was convinced she would be up again to eat around 11:00 and her jammies were in that load of laundry I was trying to fold...

But seriously.  Worked like a god damn charm.  Amazing.  After the first five minutes I sat down in the rocking chair and rocked her while continuing to "shush" her.  After about 10 minutes I took her back to her room, put her in her swing and turned on her white noise machine and left the room, shutting the door behind me.  That was around 10:00pm.

I went to sleep at like 10:30pm and did not hear her until 2:30am!!  Holy crap!  I fed her from like 2:30am until 3:00am and put her in her jammies (that I had been able to fold...hooray!!), swaddled her back up, put her back in her swing and turned back on the white noise machine.  She didn't make a peep until 6:00am.

This book rules.  It makes perfect sense when you take the time to read it and understand the concept behind doing these things, but I love it.  For those of you out there with little ones, or ones on the way (C, I'm talking to you...GET THIS BOOK...or I will get it for you).  Give it a shot.  Like I said, it may not work perfectly for every single baby, but it worked great over here!

Holy Crap

Yesterday we went to a BBQ at my Dad and step mother's house for Memorial Day.  After the baby was passed around from person to person (only being returned to me when she needed the boob) and therefore sleeping soundly and lovingly ALL EVENING LONG, we returned home.  I was about to put The Boy to bed when she woke up in her car seat.  And started crying.  That was about 8:30pm...

She cried, and then ate, and then cried some more.  Then had another little snack...  And then cried and then fussed, and then cried...  (get the idea?)  She was a fussy monster and was NOT happy no matter what position, where I held her, how I "susshhhhed" or what I tried.  I even gave her a Gripe Water bottle at like 10:15pm or something that didn't help.  I didn't want to feed her any more after that because surely she was going to explode and barf up all that good food I had stuffed in her in an effort to quiet the monster.

Finally I moved her back to my bedroom around 10:30 and I was at my wits end.  Not to mention a little tired.  So I went to my last resort: Put her in her room and let her just cry.  Watch the clock, let her cry for 10 minutes and then go in and comfort her.  In the past (2 times this has happened before) she exhausts herself and when I go and get her and comfort her, she finally falls asleep out of pure exhaustion.

So I put her in her swing in her room, turned on the white noise machine, closed her door, closed my door and went in my room.  10:52pm.  Check.  She can cry until 11:02pm when I go and get her.  I turned on the video monitor (do you know the new ones have ZOOM?  So cool...) and turned off the sound on it and picked up the phone to call my mother.  I needed a little reassurance of "you're not a horrible parent for leaving your child in another room crying for 10 minutes after 2 1/2 hours of nonsense..."  I chatted with my mom who assured me I wasn't a horrible parent and after a few minutes I turned on the sound to check on her and she wasn't crying anymore.  After about 5 minutes she put herself to sleep.  Glorious!  I immediately hung up the phone and layed down to try and get a few minutes of desperately needed sleep under the impression that she would be back up in a couple hours to repeat the entire process.

Imagine my surprise when I was dreaming that I was sleeping on rocks and I awoke to look at the clock and realize that, holy crap, it was 4:15am.  And no, I didn't happen to be sleeping on rocks, those rocks were my boobs that were screaming out because they hadn't been drained in almost 6 HOURS!!!

I checked the monitor and realized she was breathing and then decided to come out and pump one boob and let her eat off the other one when she got up (which would surely be any moment).  So there I was at 4:20am, pumping one boob while reading all of your blogs.  I pumped 5 ounces out of that one boob (the left one is an overachiever...) and then went back to my bed.  I went back and forth between trying to go back to sleep and let her wake up on her own whenever she wanted, to waking her up to eat.  My rationale being that if I woke her up to eat then, A) I was already awake and ready to feed, and B) I could (hopefully) feed her and get her back down and give myself another solid hour of sleep before The Boy got up for the day.  But you know that old saying of never waking a sleeping baby?  Well I decided to just go in and check on her, so I did and I touched her little hand while doing it and that was enough to stir her and make her realize that she hadn't been fed in HOURS!

So she ate for a good twenty minutes and was back in her bassinet by 5:30am.  The Boy got up at 6:20am and I hung with him until 6:40am when I put on a movie for him and climbed back in bed.  I slept again until 8:00am when The Girl wanted to eat again.

Minus the whole screaming for hours thing, I would call that a DAMN successful night.  Love it!

The Things We've Learned In The Past Month

HAPPY ONE MONTH BIRTHDAY MY LITTLE PEANUT!!

I can't believe you are finally here and you have been a part of our lives for a whole month already. I wasn't sure we were going to make it through the end of our pregnancy together, but we did, and I like you SO much more on the outside than I did on the inside. :)

Here are some of the things we have learned together over the past month:

You like to eat and to grow. When you were born you were 7 lbs, 12 oz and 18 inches long. When we left the hospital you were down to 6 lbs, 12 oz. And as of your appointment today, you are 9 lbs, 10 oz and 21 inches long. You are in the 50th percentile in both height and weight. Your head was 36 3/4 centimeters which is in the 25th percentile. After my experience with your brother and growth charts, it makes me more happy than you know to see you doing so well. Keep eating girl!!

You have really "woken up" in the past month. When we got home from the hospital, if you weren't eating on the boob, this is pretty much what you were doing...

Now you are staying awake for longer periods of time. This last week you are even starting to track things with your eyes and I went out and bought you a mobile for your crib (even though you aren't sleeping in there yet). I swear in the last day or so you have given me a real smile. You look right up at me and make eye contact and then give a little grin. I don't care if it isn't real yet, it still melts my heart. We have also learned that you are indeed my daughter and will most likely end up a crazy little girl. In fact, we have already started practicing taking pictures for your mug shot. So far, we think this one is best...
You have learned that your big brother LOVES you with such a ferocity that it is a little overwhelming sometimes. You love to watch him, although when he insists on giving you 50 kisses, IN A ROW, while you are trying to eat...well sometimes you wish he would lighten up on the love a little bit. You are mesmerized by his actions and are learning to watch him and sometimes wonder what exactly he is doing...
You love you some boobie. Mommy wasn't so sure how the breast feeding thing was going to go, but as luck would have it, you have taken to it quite easily. You learned to latch on pretty well while in the hospital and we have both gotten better at it as time goes on. Mostly we still do the "football hold" at every meal. However recently we have learned to do the "cross cradle," although we have really only mastered that at the right boob. On the left boob you think you should only latch onto the tip of my nipple and therefore get pulled off every time. We will keep trying though. We have also very recently discovered the whole "Mommy laying on her side on the bed and shoving the boob into your mouth" hold. We do this right before our afternoon naps together. I lay down and give you one of the boobs and you suck it until you fall asleep. Then I shut my eyes and we sleep together for at least an hour. If I don't give you the boob you lay there and fuss and refuse to sleep with me until my nap time is up and I end up not having slept at all. I am very proud of this new technique and plan to utilize it during our middle of the night feedings sometimes soon.

Speaking of those, we do pretty well in the middle of the night, although at this point you still refuse to sleep more than 2 1/2 or 3 hours at a time. This usually results in a feeding somewhere around 11:00pm, somewhere around 2:00am and somewhere around 5:00am. Then your big brother gets up around 6:00am. So that isn't much uninterrupted sleep for Mommy. However, on most nights you can get up and eat and be back in your bassinet in the period of time it takes for me to watch one DVR'ed episode of Sex and the City. So overall it isn't too bad.

It still blows my mind that I am providing you with all the nourishment that you need right now. The closeness that we share while I am feeding you feeds my heart as much as it feeds your tummy. And that contented "milk coma" you slip into after eating is enough to make all nine months of stress worth it.
Baby girl, I know in the future when you read my old blog posts you will see that I was a bit tentative about your arrival and about the fact that you are a little girl. Let me assure you that you are exactly who you are supposed to be. You are my precious little peanut and you and I were meant to be together. Your big brother and the two of us are the family that I have always dreamt of. We are finally complete. The three of us will ALWAYS be together and loved. And you have enriched my life in ways that I didn't even know were possible. Thank you my daughter. Thank you for the past month and thank you for all the future months we have to come. I love you more than life itself. You and your brother make my life worth living. Here's to many more months of love and happiness!!