Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Oh, the Things They Say...

I swear since The Boy has turned three his expressive language has exploded!!  Not necessarily in his pronunciation, because frankly that still sucks, but in the actual words he is using.  He is cracking me up.  For my own posterity, I would like to list some of the new things he is saying here:
  • "Don't bodder me Mommy"  (Don't bother me Mommy)
  • "Dat jus not fair" (That's just not fair)
  • "Dat funny?" (Asked to confirm whatever he just did/said is deemed funny)
  • "To da see it and bond!" (From his favorite Buzz Lightyear...To Infinity & Beyond)
  • "I know, I know!" (Said in very condescending manner when told not to do something that he knows he isn't supposed to be doing)
  • "I have tell you something...CLOCK!!!" (I will never understand.  He leans in like he is going to tell you some deep, dark secret and then screams CLOCK in your ear.  For some reason he finds this hysterically funny)
  • "You ready...?" (Said almost as a warning before he does something like poke his fingers into your eyes, or jump onto your it somehow makes it better if he asks if you're ready first)
  • "You sing a me sunshine?" (Used as a stalling technique before any sort of bedtime)
There are so many other little things that you have to know the kid to understand them.  But he is hysterical.  Plus he is finally able to use his language in a way that helps me to understand his needs and wants a little better.  The other morning I held up his two pair of brown shoes and told him to tell me which ones he wanted to wear.  In the past he would have just pointed at one, or said, "Dat one," and been done with it.  But the other morning he said, "Dose too tight.  Dees better," and selected his favorites.  I can work with that.  Also when I was leaving for the grocery store on Sunday I told him I was going to the store.  Rather than just saying, "Bye Mommy," he proceeded to give me a list of the food he wanted me to bring home to him.  Now for a kid that is notorious for not eating, this works for me.

Of course not all speech in working in a positive direction.  I just put The Boy down for bed and since he was engaged in playing with his tractor in his bed he forgot to ask me for his Binky.  I discreetly slid it into my pocket and left the room hoping that he would go to sleep without it.  Of course about 5 minutes later he started saying, "Hey Mommy...hey Mommy...hey Mommy..."  I let that go on for a while until he started yelling it.  But since he wasn't actually calling for Binky I decided to go back in and see what he needed.  I walked in and he said, "I need Binky."  Little shit.  So I gave him the Binky in my pocket (the actual abolishing of the Binky is coming soon, but it isn't a battle for tonight), which I had picked up from the floor.  He put it in his mouth, took one suck, and took it out and said, "Not dat one.  Dat one for baby [The girl's name]."  I hadn't even looked, but it was his same brand of Binky's, just the one step up (the older version) that is harder than the newborn one he still uses.  So he got his point across, but it isn't always used for the greater good.

Last night he went to bed around his normal time.  I finally fell asleep a little before 11:00pm I think.  I heard him calling me and looked at the clock: 1:08am.  Shit.  I staggered in there.

"What's wrong Boy?"

"Hi Mommy."

"Hi, what's wrong?"

"Noting, I just wake.  I go Mommy bed?"

"No, you can't go to Mommy's bed.  It is the middle of the night.  You need to lay down and go back to sleep."

"I know, I know Mommy.  You cover me? [I put covers back over him] "You a sing a me sunshine?"

I went back to bed.  This repeated at 2:05am.  Then at 2:37am he was actually almost crying when he called me.  So I went in...

"[Boy], what is wrong?"

"I have boogie Mommy."

"You have boogies in your nose?  That's why you called me?"

"Uh huh, yes.  I need a a keenex."

"You have got to be shitting me...I grumble and stagger off to the bathroom and return with a kleenex"

"Here you go."  Put kleenex up to his nose.  "Blow."

He does the most pitiful little blow ever.  Then says, "I do it."  He takes the kleenex from my hand and rubs his nose.  Then hands it back to me.  "Tank you Mommy.  You greatest."

Then he lays down and goes back to sleep.  Fortunately that was the last time for the night.  I should mention that this rarely happens.  I happen to be blessed with a great sleeper (knock on wood) and he almost always sleeps straight through the night.  When I asked him this morning why he kept waking up all night long he looked up at me and said, "I not tired Mommy.  I wanna a talk to you."

How can you argue with that?

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