Monday, October 27, 2008


So I almost made it completely through the election without posting anything political. I tried. I really did. Those of you who know me know that I am not someone who usually gets up on my soapbox and tries to convince people to support my beliefs and my politics. I follow the "live and let live" policy. Although you may believe something completely different than I do, I respect your right to that belief. I will not try and convince you that my belief is somehow better and you should change your moral system or politics to mirror mine. That being said, I expect the same in return. I want respect and freedom to live my life the way I choose. I want to be able to raise my family in the manner with which I decide to raise them. And I want to do that without discrimination. I want my children to have the same rights as yours. And I want my children growing up to know that their Mommy is as good as their friends' Mommy's. I don't think that is too much to ask. Live and let live.

Well Prop 8 here in California is making me break my silence on all things politics. This weekend I drove around my town here and was FLOORED by the amount of "Yes on 8" people standing on the street corners and waving their yellow signs. Now I should probably preface this by saying that I am pregnant and at the time was pretty hungry so therefore I could have been a little more on edge than usual...BUT! I was seriously enraged. These people standing their with their signs saying, "Protect our children; protect our families" made me sick. A couple of the women had babies strapped to them in a baby bjorn for full effect. I honestly wanted to stop my car in the middle of the road, roll down my window so that they could see MY precious son in the backseat and ask how my having the same rights as them somehow hurt THEIR children. As if by discriminating against me they are somehow protecting their precious children from my evil ways? How is that? Seriously? I don't understand it. Here is a picture of my beautiful child...

And I would like it noted that in this picture he is laying in the closet of my bedroom. He is doing what a lot of almost three year olds do, and that is playing pretend. He is pretending it is nap time and he thought that my closet was a great place for that to happen. I put this picture here as an illustration. The irony of my child playing "in the closet" is that he is just like all other three year olds. And the fact that his Mommy and his Mom are gay? Well I don't think that makes him any different from any of those other children that were strapped to those "Yes on 8" people this weekend. Yet maybe they would like me to leave him in the closet. Or better yet, maybe I should climb in there with him and never get out. Because somehow my exposing him to my life is ruining the fabric of their marriages and families.
Like I said, normally I don't get all up in arms about politics. People have a right to believe in what they choose. That is what makes this country great. I honestly believe that. But I just can't wrap my head around this one. I have tried to see the "other" point of view and I can't understand it. By far the biggest "argument" that is going on in the televised ads is that if prop 8 does NOT pass then the teachers will have to teach about gay marriage in schools. First of all that is a complete LIE. However, let's suppose for a minute that it was true. Good lord the HORROR! Is it so sinister to say in classes that families are made up of all different types? Granted the "ideal" is to have a Mother and a Father living in the house with the 2.3 children. However is that always the case? What about the situations where a child is raised by Mommy and Grandma? Or a single Daddy? Or just a single Mommy? Or (GASP!!) in a household with two Mommies and/or two Daddies? Families are made up of all sorts of people these days. It is my strong belief that as long as whoever is raising those children are raising them with love and compassion and honesty then they will be just fine.

And please, for the love of God, please explain to me the argument that my having the same rights as others somehow devalues your heterosexual marriage. Really. I don't get it. If my having the same rights as you somehow makes your marriage of less value, then really, there was something wrong with your marriage in the first place. Are you afraid that you will have to see more "gay" public displays of affection? Is that it? Because let me tell you something. I am no more likely to make out with my partner in public if you somehow grant me these rights than I am if you don't. In fact, right now, if I had a partner, I might just march up to all those houses with the "Yes on 8" signs in their lawn and wait for you to come outside and just start making out just because!

This is a case of simple discrimination. It wasn't too long ago that people of color weren't allowed to marry "white" people. Same same same. Doesn't that seem ridiculous now? This is the exact same thing. It is discrimination plain and simple. It is telling me and telling my son that somehow "we" aren't as good as "you." I am a good person. I pay my taxes, I work hard, I own my home and I live my life with honesty and integrity. I teach my son about compassion and about truths and I have to teach him that there are people out there who don't like Mommy simply because of who she falls in love with. And I have to tell him that even though his Mommy and his Mom were very much in love when he was made, we weren't allowed to get married. Our relationship will never be what his friends' parents relationship is or was. And I will have to answer the "why Mommy?" question. The good people of the California Supreme Court finally decided that this was discrimination. And that is exactly what it is. So get off my street corners and stop trying to tell me that I am somehow ruining the sanctity of your marriage and your families because really? You are ruining mine.


AuntFancy said...

No matter what your own personal beliefs, legalized discrimination is just plain WRONG, and that is exactly what Prop 8 is. I have been asking everyone I know to vote NO for a few weeks now. And I think I convinced most of them. I believe people I love (like you) and people that I will never meet should all have the same rights. I could go on, but that's all it boils down to for me.

cmay said...

Amen. Let's hope that the majority voters see this proposition for what it is: legal discrimination, pure and simple.

eggdance said...

This is such a great post. I value freedom of expression, but I would have to say that some things are just WRONG and some forms of expression are dangerous (hate speech for example). Legalizing discrimination (or even the possibility of legalizing it) makes me so enraged. I start to feel hopeful about how far we have come and then something like this happens and I realize, with fear, how far we have yet to go.

Billy said...

Well said!
I also follow the "live and let live" moto, and really can't understand people who think their way of living is the only way, and that everybody should go their way. Pitty that they can't see the loveliness of the diversity, the richness that different family types brings.

And on a side note would like to add that your son is totally adorable!