***Let me take a moment to say that the stuff I am about to mention reflects my personal tastes and attractions in women FOR ME. I am in no way trying to offend anyone, but like with all people, there are certain "types" that I tend to be more attracted to than others. Doesn't mean I don't think those other "types" are wrong in any way, shape or form. It's just that I might not want to date them...
Okay with that out of the way, let me say that the online dating experience started off pretty much as I expected. I tend to mostly be categorized as a "femme" or a lipstick lesbian because I am very feminine looking, I wear makeup, I dress like a girl and most people who run into me on the street do not know that I am gay upon meeting me. Because of this I tend to mostly attract the more "butch" looking women. So the first several people who contacted me fell into this category. Unfortunately for me, as a general statement, this is not the type of woman I am attracted to. Of course there are some exceptions, but for the most part, my ideal mate would also be categorized as a "femme" as well. So while I chatted with several of these women, none of them presented an attraction to me. But it was a nice way to sort of dip my toe back into the waters, for lack of a better term.
I have also contacted several women that I was interested in or attracted to and I ended up being in the place where I was emailing back and forth with two women. And this is where I tell you that I am SO out of practice at this. The last time I was "dating" was 1999. I have "dated" a total of 3 women total in my entire life, and the last one was my Ex whom I was with from 2000 until 2008 (off and on at the end). And since 2008 I have been nothing but a mom. So this whole experience is completely new to me.
These are the things that I have learned so far through this process.
- I have absolutely no clue what I'm doing
- I need to start thinking about myself as something other than a "mom."
- I have no clothes at all that could be considered sexy
- Women are much bolder than I am used to
- Flirting can actually be kind of fun
- It's important to remember that I am a person too...not just a mom
- It's a nice ego boost to have other people tell you that you're pretty and sexy
- There IS life after a breakup and kids
As of now, I am really only chatting with one woman. She has a 4 year old daughter at home so she understands a lot of how my life is right now. And because of both of us being single moms we haven't made the time to try and get babysitters and meet yet. We are talking on instant message every couple of days and getting to know each other. She lives about an hour away from me and appears to be a regular woman with a full time job and a life. I like that about her. The "getting to know each other" phase is pretty fun. We will just have to see where it all ends up. Neither of us is looking to find "the one" and jump into some crazy relationship, but it would be nice to have someone to go on a date with every once in a while. Hopefully soon we can arrange a meeting.
So that's been my experience in online dating so far. Strange, yet fun, yet scary, yet exhilarating. I'll keep you all posted. :)