Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Not What I Expected

It isn't what I expected.  I expected to be sad.  I expected to miss her.  But I didn't expect the boy to react like this.  Is it possible that a 2 1/2 year old little boy could understand when his two moms break up and one of them moved out?  I wasn't aware that he was so capable of cognitive thought like that.  But he knew that even though the "playroom" had all of his toys in it, even though we painted the walls and bought new furniture and played only his music, even though I busted my ass all weekend long to make it into something else, it was still his Mom's room.  And why was all HIS stuff in here?  And didn't I see those holes in the walls?  That's where the shelved used to be.  The shelves that held all of Mom's stuff.  And those shelves were gone.  And the holes are a bitter reminder that they are missing.  And every time we see said holes we will look at Mommy and say, "Uh oh.  Mom fix."  And then proceed to walk around the house saying, "MMMOOOOOOOMM  Are du Mom?  Mom...are du Mom?"  And come up to me and ask me where his Mom is.  To which I reply, "she's living at her new house.  Mommy and the boy live here and Mom lives at her new house."  He then says, "du house?" and then wanders away.  Only to repeat the same exchange about 10 minutes later.

Then she comes over tonight after work to see him.  He gets big hugs and big hugs and immediately becomes a happier boy.  Like he hasn't been cranky crankster from cranksterville ALL DAY LONG.  The he starts asking for random things.  

***I must take a moment to point out that the entire time we lived together, he would get MAD if we were cuddling or hugging or, god forbid, kissing.  He would wedge his little self in between us and make us stop the activity immediately (of course we continued whatever we were doing anyway...)***

However, tonight it was like he was trying to play cupid and throw the arrow in our direction.  He and Mom were playing trains and she started tickling him like always.  He immediately stopped everything and looked up at her and said, "iickle Mommy?"  "You want me to tickle Mommy?" she asked in amazement (as mentioned NOT usual for him), and he sat there nodding his head like, yeah, that's the greatest idea I have ever heard.  So she came over and tickled me and I proceeded to squeal and call out for help and he loved it.  He ate it up.  "Get Mommy?"  Over and over again.  And then he took each one of us by the hand and pulled us next to each other and instructed us to give each other a "BIG" hug.  Again we went with it and gave a big hug.  He nodded in appreciation.  Then he instructed us to give a "baby" hug as well.  He was pleased when we followed through with this request as well.  Then before Mom was going to leave he told her to give me a kiss.  At this point it just seems sad.  I honestly don't know if he truly could understand what is going on, or if he is feeling just confused and unsettled and wanted to make sure that we still have love for each other or what.  All I know is that this is not what I expected.

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