The Long Weekend

Life goes on over here, and I am super lucky to have so many great friends and family around to keep us all busy.  Case in point, we had a fun-filled, but packed, long weekend.

Friday night we stayed home, just me and the kids.  The kids took long baths...we watched a movie and ate popcorn, and just rested after a long week.  It was really nice.  Then on Saturday one of my clients came by the house to pick some work up and spent a good amount of time with my kids.  They love this particular client so they were very excited to show them their bedrooms and backyard.

Then, The Ex told me she would take BOTH the kids on Saturday morning (for new-er readers, my Ex is the other mother to my son, but not my daughter so she has NO reason to take The Girl...she is just super nice and volunteered since The Girl was begging...).  So I had an unprecedented 4 hours of kid free time!  I took a long shower with my music up loud (no kids to have to keep an ear out for...) and then went grocery shopping.  By myself.  I know this might not mean a lot to my readers, but for me?  What a luxury!!

Then Saturday night I had a babysitter and I went to the 40th birthday party of my BFF's husband.  WITHOUT my children.  I would have had a great time no matter what, but after having a good portion of my day sans kids, this party was just the topping on the cake.  It is kinda weird sometimes showing up to a party full of couples by yourself, as the "single girl," but I did it for 5 years, so I have some practice.  I fortunately found a couple of other single girls to sit and play with during the evening so I wasn't that awkward third wheel.  They had great food, even better beer, and when I got home, both of my kids were fast asleep.  Win all around!

Sunday we got up and headed over to the beach.  I have a client with a beach house and I needed to stop by there and do a quick bit of work.  So we did that, and then headed to a yummy little taco place and had some lunch.  Then another friend of mine had rented a two bedroom Villa at a hotel right on the beach, so we headed over there for the rest of the day.  Our day was spent in the sand, playing in the water and soaking up the rays.  It felt really nice and the kids had a BLAST.  Then once it got a little too windy, we headed back to their villa and hung out there until after the kids had dinner.  We left at 10:00 in the morning and didn't get home until 8:00 at night so it was a full day.  But a fun one.  I live less than an hour away from the beach and I rarely take my kids over there.  Need to do that more!

When I left for the beach on Sunday the plan for Monday (Memorial Day) was to have my mom and step dad and my grandmother over for a little BBQ for lunch.  Nothing major, but just a relaxing day to enjoy.  I got a call from my mother at 8:15am on Monday and she said, "You better get up and start cleaning...you're having a party!"  It turns out that our little BBQ went from 4 adults and my two kids to...10 adults, 4 kids...and a dog.  My mother had spent all day Sunday inviting all sorts of people to the BBQ...  But you know what?  It was a beautiful day.  My 90 year old grandmother got to spend the day with 2 of her 3 children, 4 out of 5 of her grandchildren, and all 4 of her great-grandchildren.  We put up the bouncy house and the hammock in the backyard...had tons of yummy food and adult beverages, a kick-ass BBQ (if I do say so myself...I have become quite the proficient BBQer) and just a really, really nice day overall.  I am really lucky to have so much of my family so close that my kids are able to grow up with all of their extended family around.  It was a blessing that I had as a child, and I am so happy to be able to pass that along to my kids.

Overall, the weekend was crazy busy but wonderful.  I'm sure I have some pretty cute pictures on my camera from the day yesterday, but that's exactly where they sit:  in my camera.  :)  I will try and upload some pics later in the week.  Hope everyone had a happy and safe long holiday weekend!

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That last post is bumming me out and I don't want it to be at the top of my blog anymore.  So here are a couple of pictures of the kids to make you smile.  The girl last week, and The Boy at his Mother's Day Tea for both of his moms at his school.  Love these babies.  Aren't they getting big?

Alone and Sad

Hello!  How is everyone out there in blog land?  Obviously things in my life have been a bit hectic, hence the lack of posting.  So there are lots of things going on in my life right now, but I will tell you about one of them today.

The Girlfriend and I broke up. 

I am sitting here staring at the blinking cursor to try and figure out how to explain "what happened," and why we are no longer together and it just isn't that easy.  I will try and give the readers digest version (but we all know I am not very good at that).  As I had mentioned in several previous posts, this girl was perhaps the nicest woman I have ever met and she treated me like a queen.  We had a fantastic time together, the chemistry was amazing physically, she adored my kids...  I could go on and on about the great things about her.  But here's the thing:  If you were looking forward to actually combining our lives together, it just wouldn't work.  There are too many fundamental differences in how we live our lives, raise our kids etc...  She stays up late and sleeps in late, I am the opposite.  I am anal-retentively clean and organized, she is...not.  I am pretty strict with my kids and have certain things that are non-negotiable where they are concerned (eating healthy...sitting down to the dinner table with no TV as a family every night...no video games...certainly no "fighting" video games...etc).  I eat super healthy and take care of myself (take vitamins, use sunscreen religiously etc...) and she is super happy just enjoying the moment she is in.

None of these things are "bad" at ALL.  I would never tell someone else how to raise their kids or how to live their lives.  We are all different human beings who live our lives differently.  And if I'm being honest, a lot of that is why I am attracted to her.  It is exhausting to be me, and I would never want to be with someone just like myself.  I like how relaxed she is about life and about actually stopping to enjoy said life.  In a lot of ways, she has shown me that it is okay to sit down and snuggle on the couch with your girlfriend even though there are toys on the floor that need to be put away and laundry that needs to be folded.  She brought me that.  And it's part of why I so enjoyed dating her.

See I have learned that being compatible in dating is a MUCH different thing than being compatible to live together and be true partners.  So for the past 8 months I have really enjoyed dating her.  I love being with her, and like I mentioned, even the things that would drive me mad if we were together all the time are endearing and fun when you are dating someone.  They have their house and life, and you have yours and every once in a while you get to be together.  So over the course of our relationship I have been very honest with her about my feelings (super strong towards her) and where I am right now (not at all ready for a full "partnership" and wanting to stay in the dating phase of things).  She had expressed concern with me not being "as far in" as she was, and I just tried to keep it really honest.  And she tried to "tone it back" to the point that she could be comfortable just dating me, and not wanting more.

Ultimately it didn't work.  She wanted more from me, and I just couldn't do it.  And it ended up that she kept getting hurt (thinking I didn't care based on something I did or didn't do), and I kept getting frustrated because I never even knew when I was doing the "things I did or didn't do" and would get defensive because, "What?  What are you talking about?  I didn't even KNOW you wanted me to do that...how am I possibly in trouble because I didn't?"

So on Monday night, we sat together, holding hands, both of us crying because we knew we just had to stop.  And even though I know this is the right thing; I know that ultimately she would have been hurt more than she is now, it just fucking sucks.  Because here's the thing:  I DID really like her.  I DID really want to date her.  And I was super happy with her.  And now it's gone.  And I miss her like crazy.  I didn't expect to be this sad about it, but I am.  9 months ago, it wasn't a big deal that I spent every evening after the kids went to bed alone...and 9 months ago a weekend didn't seem so long...but now it all does.  I still know that we did the right thing for both of us (last thing I want to do is hurt her more), but I don't know how to get past the hurt and the sadness.  I just miss her.  It's hard to go from talking to someone 5 times a day and seeing them all the time, to just...nothing.

I spent the last 5 years single and not even thinking about it.  But once I met her and had her in my life...I realized how nice it is to have another adult in my life as a companion.  And now I don't have it anymore.  And it sucks.

Happy Birthday Peanut!

My baby is three.

I will spare all of us the "how did that happen?" questions, but man, time sure does fly.  We all know I haven't been the best at updating this blog lately, but I can't ignore her birthday.  So much has been changing with her lately.

You may remember several months ago when I was blogging about her staying in her bed...and her horrendous tantrums (did I even blog about that?  I might have been too traumatized to put it down on paper...), and her overall unpleasantness...  However I am happy to say that for the past few months she has been down right lovely.  I am SO enjoying her lately.  She is freaking hysterical and she is such an amazing little girl that I am constantly laughing and loving her.

So...when I blogged about potty training I told you all that when she went on spring break, that was going to be it.  Hard core potty training...  Spring break was this week.  And she rocked it.  Starting last Saturday morning we drew the line.  All undies all the time (except for night time and rest time).  She was on board from the beginning.  And I am so happy to say that we are 90% there.  She is good with pee pees all the time.  Has had only one pee accident since we started and that was I think on Sunday.  Since then she has not only peed consistently all the time in the potty at home, but she has also successfully gone pee at the mall, at the grocery store, and at several of my clients this week.  So she's got it.  She even told me she had to go when coming home from somewhere in the car earlier and I told her she had to hold it until we got home and she did!  Poop on the other hand...  I would say we do about 1 in 4 poops in the potty.  The good news is that she DOES go in the potty.  She has done I think 3 successful poops in the potty.  But the rest?  In her undies.  So we are still a work in progress on that one, but we aren't going back.  I cancelled my diaper service and I took the changing table out of her room.  We are done.

And then last night, out of the blue, when it was bed time she opened the drawer to get a binky and she looked at me and said, "Mommy, do big girls use Binky's?"  I told her that they didn't.  She said, "Well then I don't need them either.  Let's throw them away!"  And she took all of her binkys out of the drawer and walked to the garbage can and threw them out.  Then she proceeded to go lay down and go to sleep.  Just that easy.  Who knew?

She is just getting SO big.  She gets herself dressed every day.  She picks out her own outfits.  When shopping she chooses what she will wear.  She wants to do it ALL herself.  Everything.  She doesn't seem to think she needs me for anything anymore.  But I am so proud of her.  Her brother would STILL prefer that I do everything for him, but her?  No.  She's completely self sufficient.  Or at least she would like to be.

She knows all her letters and all of her numbers.  She can color in the lines.  Because she has an older brother she is SO much more advanced than he ever was.  And in terms of speaking?  She can literally have a discussion with you about current events.  She can explain to me how she's feeling, why she is feeling that way, and explain to me why what I am doing is probably wrong.

Some of her favorite things right now:  Her brother.  They play together SO well and for hours on end. She adores her brother and he is her favorite person to play with.  And based on that, most of her other favorite things aren't the typical 3 year old girl faves.  She loves all things Super Heros.  She loves to play pretend ("Mommy, you are black Spiderman, and I am red Spiderman, and brother is Doc Ock...").  I am constantly having to ask her, "Who are you right now?"  And she will answer me with a "I'm a doggie...I'm a monster...I'm a T-Rex..."  All about playing pretend right now.  She still loves to draw and wants to do it constantly.  She's really big into reading books right now as well.  Mostly her brother's super hero books, but it doesn't really matter.  She still eats like a horse (god love her for that). In fact I started to list all her favorite foods, but there are far too many.  She still eats great.

She is still at her home Montessori daycare, but she knows that come summer time, she is going to go to "Brother's old school."  Also a Montessori, this is actually a real pre-school instead of a home daycare so it's a big step up from where she's been going since she was 3 months old.  She is SUPER excited to get there.  Everyday I hear, "Mommy are we going to my NEW school today?"  I haven't done her 3 year old well-baby check yet, so I don't know how tall or heavy she is, but she seems pretty average.  For the summer coming up, I bought her size 3T in pants and/or shorts, and 4T in shirts.  She wears a size 7 shoe (oh!  And she LOVES shoes...definitely gets that from her Gigi).

I could go on and on about her, but I must get to work.  I tried to upload some pictures of her from this morning in her "It's My Birthday" t-shirt but my iPhoto apparently doesn't like my camera right now.  *sigh*  So you'll have to make do with some pictures from Easter.  As you can see, potty training didn't stop for Easter!

Happy Birthday my baby girl.  I love you  more than I could ever express.  You are truly my sunshine.

Day in the Life. Friday April 6, 2012

• 5:42am: Alarm goes off for the first time. I actually get up a little after 6:00. Between that time and 8:15 (when we need to leave to get the kids to school on time) we are doing any number of things. Showering myself and getting myself ready. Getting both kids dressed and hair done. Breakfast. Making lunches and getting all school stuff ready for both kids. You all know the drill. It went pretty well on this day; perhaps because it was the last day of school before Spring Break for The Boy.
• 8:15am through 9:00am: Spent driving each to their respective schools and back home.
• 9:10-9:30am: Drive to an appointment with a client.
• 9:30-10:00am: Actually meet with said client but mostly just picked up all the paperwork I needed and left.
• 10:00am: Start *Operation Holy-Crap-I-Forgot-About-Easter* Seriously. I was completely shocked when my mom told me on Wednesday that this weekend was Easter. At this point I have no outfits for the kids, I have no plastic eggs, I have nothing to put inside those eggs, I don't have an easter basket, nor anything to put inside that...
• Back to 10:00am: Shopped in a little toy store near my client with ridiculously high prices and left with the entire contents of both kids easter baskets.
• 10:40am: Arrive back near home at local kids clothing store. Picked out super cute pink, orange and white polka dot dress for Peanut, and a somewhat matching orange plaid shirt for The Boy to wear with his jeans (he literally has nothing else that fits right now). Also got a little sweater for Peanut's so she doesn't freeze. And an "It's My Birthday" shirt for her because...guess what? Two weeks...
• 11:00am: Head to big box store with a bulls eye on the front. Purchase regular items needed at that store, two easter baskets, two sets of new crayons, two different types of little candies to put inside the plastic eggs, the grass for inside the basket... Oh and don't forget the little box of crap needed to dye the eggs with the kids later. Got everything on my list and left to drive home.
• 11:40am: Realize I forgot the effing plastic eggs. Got the stuff for inside of them, but not the eggs themselves. Call Mom. Gotta love Gigi, she'll get the eggs. And did I remember to get the vinegar to dye the eggs? No. No, I did not. Thank you Gigi.
• 11:45:am: Run into my house, unload junk from all the stores and briefly meet with my business partner (who's working at the house). Grab a cheese stick and run out the door because of my next appointment...
• 12:00pm: One hour with my shrink. Always feel a bit refreshed after that.
• 1:15pm: Back home to plan rest of day with my business partner (BP). Answer some texts and return a client phone call and plan to go and meet with them later that afternoon. Answer emails and put out about 3 fires.
• 1:30pm: Tell BP that I'm starving and that I think we really need to plan the rest of the day while eating. Drive to Chip.otle and enjoy burrito bowl. Thanks for asking. :)
• 2:00pm: Back at the house/office and get stuck with another client on the phone and go over whole process with BP so he can handle that situation while I go tend to this other client.
• 2:30pm: Text my client that I am leaving.
• 2:45pm: Actually leave.
• 3:00-3:45: Meeting with client. Try and solve inventory mess and fix some accounting issues that have gone horribly wrong (this is a new client that I am trying to 'fix' right now...this is not my own shoddy work).
• 4:00pm: Come running in after driving home with solution to big client issue and tell it to BP. Go over what needs to be done and how I am going to make it happen. Stoked we figured it out. Now just implementation...
• 4:15pm: Go and pour BP a glass of wine because I need him to put his creative and fun side on... Tell him the other thing that came to me after meeting with my shrink today. We need to seriously rearrange my house and create a proper office.

Side note: My business is going crazy right now and I run it out of my home. Two of us are working here all the time. I have four different computers alone going in four different random spaces throughout my house. And the stacks of papers are trying to eat me alive. I seriously feel SO overwhelmed constantly because of just the physical space. I try to make dinner and I have to clean up a stack of papers, a pen and some post-its. I try and prepare dinner in the kitchen and have to clear a laptop away... You get the idea. My shrink would have me say, "It is creating a lot of extra stress in my life right now."

• 4:30pm: Decide that I need to go pick up my son now, because I want to have a glass of wine with BP and discuss arrangements and what we need and how we're going to make it happen for the new office space. BP calls his brother and informs me that his brother can get tons of nice office furniture for free, so we should just "draw it up" and send him the specs and he'll let us know what's available. Awesome.
• 4:50pm: Finally get home with The Boy. Get him situated and go back to pour glass of wine with BP and relax. Although while I have been gone, BP has gone back into work-mode and now has many work questions for me and all sorts of things to discuss. I did NOT get to pour my glass of wine.
• 5:05pm: Mom gets to my house with The Girl. Brings plastic eggs and vinegar (I am now officially ready for Easter!) Takes kids outside while I finish up with BP and we decide that he and his husband will come back later (at which point his title switches from BP to one of the gay boyfriends...) to hang out.
• 5:15pm: Finally pour that glass of wine and go sit outside for a while. Or 5 minutes.
• 5:20pm: Children start demanding snacks...my mom tells me that one of her friends is going to stop by (my house, mind you...my mother treats this as her second home) and the kids are playing outside. I make dinner for the kids, visit briefly with my mom and her friend, slowly consume my glass of wine...and enjoy my kids loving their backyard.
• 6:00pm: Mom and friend leave, I receive a text from the gay boyfriends saying pre-heat the oven to 400 and they on on their way. I strip the children and usher them to the bathtub.
• 6:15pm: Gay boyfriends arrive. I pour a second glass of wine, I get the kids out and into their jammies, I enjoy some yummy mushroom turnovers...I watch my gay boyfriends loving on my kids...we decide to order some Chinese from a place that delivers...I may have had another glass of wine...
• 7:45pm: Start getting the kids to bed...read all the books, have all the milk, brush all the teeth and begin the process. They both end up in their rooms with the doors shut around 8:20pm.
• 8:30pm: Girlfriend arrives. Girlfriend and gay boyfriends all chat while I continue to try and attempt to keep my almost-three year old in her bed.
• 9:15pm: Gay boyfriends go home. Final discussions with the kids. I swear! Final.
• 9:30pm: Kids asleep...watched a half hour show...girlfriend could tell that I have a lot on my plate right now...so she gave me full body massage that eventually went led both of us back into another room of the house.
• 11:15pm. Passed out cold.

And then The Boy came into my room this morning at 6:48am. Ready to do it all over again...

When Sickness Gets In the Way

This has been a rough winter in terms of illnesses in my house. Up through the end of January, we were all pretty healthy. Then I got sick...and more sick...and STILL sick...and amazingly enough, through all of that my kids stayed pretty healthy. Then once I finally finished my second round of antibiotics and started to feel better, the kids got sick.

So The Girl was doing great with her potty training and even used the potty at her school all day on Monday of last week. Then on Tuesday? Sick. Like fever of 102 sick... And she had no desire to get up and use the potty. And I didn't blame her. So I let her go back into diapers until she was better. She was really sick all week long (home with me 3 days) and then again on the weekend so she hasn't really been working on it. Finally yesterday she felt better and wore her undies all day long (even to a trip to the grocery store where she attempted to use their potty twice...unsuccessfully...) and stayed dry. But today when she went to school she wanted a diaper. So we went with it.

So potty training? Still a work in progress...but we're getting there. As I mentioned, I have a deadline set for the end of her spring break, so up until then I am going to let her lead the charge. But once we hit spring break and she's home with me for a week? It's all undies all the time! And no going back.

Other than that we had a lovely, relaxing weekend. The girlfriend was around so that was nice. Speaking of, that is still going well. We actually hit the six months of dating mark sometime last week. Amazing how fast it goes... I am keeping things pretty casual...I don't have any desire to jump into a big, heavy relationship so things are very mellow and fun right now. And I am enjoying that.

The Boy is growing up so fast. He is such a big kid. It still amazes me. He is very into anything "Super Hero" right now. And amusingly enough...The Ex has him into all of the old-school cartoons that we watched as a kid. So right now he is into Scooby Doo and He-Man and the regular Spiderman and Batman stuff. But he loves him some super heros. He is also doing great in his art class. He did a water color last Thursday that I think is beautiful and I am going to get it framed. He loves to write and draw and lately has been writing his own "books" which he is very proud of. He is loving learning to read and is still absolutely in love with his school.

And blissfully, the kids have reached the stage where they LOVE to play together. They are best little friends and I find it adorable. They run into one of their rooms and make up a game and play it for hours. Or they will go outside together and play... The Girl is so verbal that they are really at a similar level of playing and the result is the most adorable friendship. Longtime readers of my blog know that I really struggled with the idea of having a second child on my own. There have been countless times lately where I have been doing something and stopped to listen to my kids play together and smiled and thought, "That. That right there is why I did this." And I know that I absolutely made the right decision. Hope everyone had a lovely weekend.

How's This for a Welcome Back?

When you fall off your blog for so long...what becomes the topic that finally forces you to write a post again? Was it your son's 6th birthday? Nope. That came and went. Was it the greatest sickness that I have ever personally endured? Nope. I lived and it was far too boring to write about. Was it The Boy losing his first tooth? Nope. But the fairy took care of that so all was well. Was it all the amazing changes that are going on with my business? Nope. Far too busy working to write...

My daughter woke up this morning and told me that she didn't want me to put a diaper on her. She wanted to go sit on the potty. Ummm...okay, sure. So I went and put her little potty in the living room in front of her favorite show and she sat down and chilled for a little bit. She has done this countless times and never produced anything so I wasn't really thinking about it when she told me, "I did it! I pee-peed in the potty!" I went over expecting to find a few drops but she had fully peed. Now that has certainly never happened before!! We did all the hugging and the dancing and celebrating and may have even called a grandparent...and then she got the treat of her choice (a fruit roll up--at 10:00 in the morning. It sorta disgusted me, but whatever, this was her deal...) and sat down all proud of herself and ate it.

She had one accident after that when she put on pants and socks and shoes and went outside with brother. But after that she has spent the day inside in a long sleeved shirt and undies. And she went over the peed again. All on her own! Just came over, all casual like, and was like, "yeah Mommy...I went pee pee again. Let's flush it so I can have my treat!" And so we did.

So I thought it was a bit strange when not 20 minutes later she came into my bedroom and told us that she had done "dat yucky thing" in the potty. I was like, "what did you put in the potty?" Anyway, after some investigation it was discovered that she pooped in the potty! Holy crap! Just went out there and sat down and pooped. Like she's been doing it all her life. Crazy.

I should clarify that I in no way am under the impression that it is this easy and that my daughter is now potty trained. But this is a huge step for her. Huge. She turns three in a month... My big girl.